Fixed
by DedicatedWallflower
Summary: I have a story to tell, of a boy and a girl. Some say it was a fairytale. Together they were made new; together they were fixed. She had never been more in love; he had never loved anyone but himself. She was a closed off girl, he was an arrogant boy. They knew, their kind of love was something special. One look into her eyes and he was a goner. -Modern Day Kato. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys!**

**It's dedicated again with another story! I really think you are going to LOVE this! If you do, tell me, if you don't, tell me! **

**This is my fifth modern day Cato story, but you all can expect something different from this one! It will cover their high school years with a twist at the end that I love and you all will hate! That said, some scenes will be emotional and I have warned you!**

**Furthermore; if you try to find a deeper purpose in this, you will have to dig deep. **

**I don't own THG, the lovely Suzanne Collins does though! **

**So, I will be juggling another story, because it hit me in the face. I want it as one of my originals, outside of fan fic, but I write more when I have to so I did it on here!**

_I have a story to tell, of a boy and a girl. Some said it was a fairytale. She was broken; he was her missing piece. He was made whole by her beautiful smile. Together they were made new; together they were fixed. She had never been more in love; he had never loved anyone but himself. She was a closed off girl, he was an arrogant boy. When they saw each other, they knew, their kind of love was something special. It was love at first sight. After all, all it took was one look into her eyes and he was a goner._

"Katniss." The scream shatters all since of piece in the near empty apartment. My eyes fly open, blinking in the harsh rays of sun that shine through the tattered curtains of the window.

My mind races, touching the bed beside me only to find it cold. She's probably gone to mom's room again, the third time this week. My nightmares must be bothering her once more.

They've been worse since we left Manhattan, being back in the city doesn't help them much at all.

It's been six years now since my father died, he was a cop, most people said the best around, but I wouldn't know. He kept his work private; I guess he didn't want his girls knowing about every rape in the city.

"Katniss." Prim's cries are enough to move me from my bed and down the hall, tripping over her stupid cat along the way. It hisses and I throw a sweatshirt off the ground at it.

She's curled in a ball on the chair next to my mother's bed. Her eyes area soaked with tears as she points at my mother. My mom stares straight ahead, not even fazed by the tears of her daughter.

In my mind I think of all the hateful things I could say to her, straining to keep them in as I look at the sweet girl in front of me.

"Shh, Prim," I whisper to her, gently stroking her long blonde locks "what's wrong little duck?" I finally ask, lifting her chin so she meets my eyes.

Her words are incoherent, mixing together with the quaking sobs as she looks to my mother again. Her blue eyes are red with the mix of little sleep and tears. She clings to me, hugging me tighter with every passing second.

When my dad died, my mom shifted inside of herself. Everything that she used to be, the beautiful smiles and laughter, disappeared. She's gone now, so far inside herself that nothing can bring her out. I resent her very being for it.

Before dad died she was one of the happiest people I knew. She was my best friend, a mother. Now I have to work just to keep us eating, we're just lucky our landlord is too drunk to collect our rent. It's been five months since we last paid. Part of my thinks he's just being nice.

"Come on Prim." I whisper to her, picking her light body up, she's skin and bones now. She comes willingly, taking my dad's old blanket off the chair and with her to our room.

"Sing to me Kat?" she whispers softly, tugging at the end of my braid as a soft smile plays on the edges of her lips.

"Just once." I respond, returning the smile as I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Somewhere beneath the blue sky

A bird sings with the sound of the wind

Come set me free

The little bird sings

The little bird fly's far away

He knows a change is here

There's no need to fear

Somewhere beneath the sky

A little bird sings"

I finish quietly, pushing away from the bed.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair has dulled with stress, and my eyes are hollow, they show no love. I blink back tears, willing myself not to have one now. Not when I've gone two weeks without.

I fight against the memories, holding them in my heart, but they invade my head anyways, pulling me into their sweet embrace.

"_Peet stop it!" I scream, covering my head as he dumps the pile of leaves on my head._

_My giggles mix with the sound of his throaty laugh as he picks me up, spinning me around as our mouths meet in a full embrace. My heart beats faster as I push against him with force._

_He pulls away first, putting me back on the ground to cup my face in his hands._

"_I promise you, I will never let anyone take us apart." He whispers, pressing a light kiss on my forehead. My lips turn up into a soft smile._

"_I love you." I whisper softly, looking up to meet his eyes. They sparkle with a new kind of happiness, the kind he gets when he bakes the perfect cake or paints the sunset._

"_You are so beautiful, and I love you more than you could ever imagine." His lips lock together with mine again._

_I close my eyes, relishing in the beauty of this short moment in time, loving every second of it._

Fresh tears coat my eyes and I look down at the little heart ring. His promise to me.

We dated for two years before the crash. It was after a movie, something pointless I wanted to see. If I wouldn't have wanted to see that movie, he wouldn't have crashed. The roads were icy and he didn't realize that as he skidded around a sharp turn that the car would flip.

I woke up in the hospital with minor injuries, but with Peeta it was different. The brain damage was so extensive he couldn't even form a word. He didn't even remember who I was.

My phone buzzes on the table next to me and I jump, started by the sudden noise.

**Hey, I'm outside I can't wait all day. **

Tucking my hair behind my ear I take one last look at the mirror, watching as the last remnants of Peeta fade from my mind.

The phone buzzes again and I let out an exasperated sigh.

**Get your ass out here Catnip.**

I walk to the door slowly; turning to glance back at Prim's sleeping form across the room. I'm doing this for her.

If it weren't for Prim, I would have dropped out the minute I turned sixteen, but she wants to be a doctor, and I have to graduate to give her that.

My feet slap gently against the old concrete flooring of the stairs as I run down them.

Gale's familiar red pickup sits outside, his signature grimace on his face as he stares towards the apartment building. He's probably thinking of all the horrible things he wants to say to me for making him late.

The bell on the front door jingles as I throw it open, jogging lightly to the passenger door.

"Morning Catnip, I see you dressed up for the first day." He smirks taking in my usual V-neck and jeans. Even my hair is stuck in its usual braid.

"Shut up and drive Gale." I hiss, looking out the front window.

"You had another one didn't you." He asks gently as he throws the truck into gear, skidding out of the crumbling parking lot.

"It wasn't of the crash this time, but yeah." I fumble nervously with a loose string on my backpack.

"You need to tell your mom Katniss." His eyes try to meet mine but I look away in rage.

"Tell her what? Mom, I'm seeing a dead boy at random times, maybe you can snap out of it long enough to help your daughter? What would she even be able to do? She can't get out of bed for two minutes before she starts to cry." Fury boils through me like a river and I focus on my breathing.

"Right, bad idea." Gale sighs, pulling into the school lot.

"I'm just ready to get this year over with." I groan, watching as students pile out of cars, shoving each other idiotically in the lot. The girls are orange, no surprise there.

"You only have 176 days left." Gale grins, spotting a parking spot at the same time as a blue Camaro. Right as Gale's about to pull into it, the Camaro speeds out of nowhere, managing to snag the spot at the last second.

"Fuck." Gale growls as the door opens.

"Look, there's one." I point down the lot the last spot open.

We're lucky no one steps out in front of us; Gale drives faster than he does on a regular street to get the spot.

He turns off the car, grabbing my bag for me with a lopsided grin.

"You ready?" he smiles as I hop out to the ground next to him.

"Not at all." I smirk, looking towards the looming building.

"Only one more year." He grins, winking at me.

"Shut up, I don't know what I'll do without you." I give him a sharp punch on the arm.

"It'll probably suck." He looks at me with a straight face, but I can tell he's holding back laughter.

"Damn you Gale." I growl under my breath as we start up the long sidewalk into the school.

_Little did she know, that boy was watching her. Stay away from him they told her. He's only trouble. She knew better than to trust him, but love does things to you. He already wanted her, but she wasn't like his usual girls. She was the game changer. Everything after that was just another piece._

_When he saw her that day, he knew he wanted her. He didn't realize just what she would change. He didn't realize that going after her meant everything would be different. It was just another fling, that was until he really met her._

**I hope you all enjoyed it; I had fun writing it for sure!**

**The next update will be on December 13****th****, if not sooner. She will meet Cato then. This fic WILL NOT BE RUSHED.**

**Love to all,**

**Dedicated**


	2. Chapter 2

**You all are amazing; I am so blessed to have each and every one of you as my readers. You cannot imagine how amazing it was to see this story blow up on the first chapter!**

**I am going to start a review for a review on this, starting this chapter. If you review, I will review a thoughtful and reflective review on one of your stories, I am on a search for the next great story!**

**Love to All, Dedicated.**

_She saw him, and she ignored him. What good could ever come from someone that vile? How would he even notice someone like her? After all, love wasn't even in her vocabulary. She pretended not to notice all the stares he gave her. She was invisible to herself and happy that way. She never knew one boy could change so much in so little time. He was focused on one thing: himself. A little city girl wasn't about to change that. His world revolved around himself, and he didn't want to change it. Love does crazy things to people though, and things did change. Oh they changed._

"Gale, where the hell is room 107?" I groan, sighing into the locker next to Gale's.

"Calm down Catnip, we have the same homeroom. I'll walk you." He grins, taking the bag off my back once again.

I think he thinks he's helping in some twisted way. Its Gale logic, I learned not to question it years ago.

I get the usual new girl looks, but I don't bother to return them, some are smiles, others stare. I try to ignore everyone watching me, wishing I would disappear into the walls around me.

"Calm down Katniss, you're shaking." Gale whispers behind me. "That might be why everyone's staring, you know, in case you were wondering." sarcasm drips from his voice and I give him a sharp smack on the arm.

"Ow." He yelps "Damn Kat you been working out?" his grin is lopsided and I have to restrain myself from hitting him again.

As we approach the classroom, Gale quickly steers me another direction, avoiding the path of a group of guys that walk obnoxiously loud down the hall.

A few make eye contact with me, sending me sly smirks.

"Stay away from them, they're nothing but trouble." Gale warns as we walk into the classroom, making a beeline to the back row.

Finding a spot to our liking, we plop down, automatically turning towards each other.

"I can't wait for lunch." Gale sighs absentmindedly, resting his head in his hands as he watches the clock.

"Didn't you just have breakfast?" I groan, looking down at my feet.

"Yeah, but that was like an hour ago." He smirks, nudging me in the shoulder with his arm.

"You're an idiot." I laugh, pulling the protein bar I was saving for later out of my bag "eat up idiot, I know you gave Posy your breakfast this morning." He takes it graciously, eating half in practically one bite.

I don't mention the fact that I left my breakfast on the table for Prim to eat. What Gale doesn't know won't kill him. I look down at my thin arms, when Peeta was around; he forced the food into me, declaring he didn't like 'skinny' girls. I just ate what he baked me; I mean how could I not? He was the most amazing baker around. He used to bring me a Ziploc bag with cheesy buns in it every day. He never questioned why I didn't eat. I loved him for that.

Gale's different, he usually doesn't like charity, and he's better at hiding the fact that his family is on the brink of poverty.

Gale's dad died with mine, they were police officers, and were murdered when they accidentally uncovered a drug cartel on a rape case. We moved back to my mother's small town while she grieved, I met Peeta there, and for once things were going up. I went up and my mom went down. She deteriorated, leaving me to work long hours at the bakery with Peeta. When Peet died, everything was too hard, and we moved back to Manhattan.

"Kat, stop thinking." Gale warns, shaking my leg discretely under the desk.

"I'm fine Gale." I whisper back, pulling away from his comforting hand.

The sound of heels clicking alerts me and I jerk my head up to see a tall blonde woman totter in on dangerously high heels. One slip and she'd break more than her ankle.

"Good morning everyone." She trills, looking out at us from behind large rimmed glasses. "Ahh, what have we here class, a new student?" her curly bob bounces with excitement.

I offer her a small smile, looking back at the desk before she can say anything more.

"Well dear, how about you tell us your name, having a few friends for the day would be nice, right class?" she smiles convincingly at me; there are a few mumbled yeses around the room.

Everyone's eyes are on me and I stand in my spot, refusing her when she motions me forwards to the front.

"I'm Katniss." I murmur awkwardly. She strains to hear, but before she can say anything more, the door opens a crack.

It's barely open an inch before her turned back is flying around, a menacing scowl on her made up face.

"Mr. Carter, are you aware the bell rang exactly seven minutes ago?" her voice is shrill and she crosses her arms "That is the third time this week Mr. Carter, the blonde boy saunters to a desk two away from me.

"Yeah." The boy smirks, smiling at the flustered woman.

"Detention Mr. Carter, and don't even try to tell me you have football, I can march down to Mr. Abernathy right now if you'd like." She uncrosses her arms, ready to turn her attention back to me.

"I bet you'd like that." The boy snarks, looking at the boy next to him with a triumphant grin.

"One hour, don't make me give you Thursday school Mr. Carter." Her glare is enough to settle him back into his seat, crossing his arms with a loud sigh.

"Asshole." I whisper to Gale quietly, he holds back laughter, elbowing me sharply to look back up at the teacher.

"Katniss is a lovely name, I am your teacher Mrs. Trinket, class let's give a warm hello to Katniss." There's a chorus of hello's before she takes role and lets us do our own thing, only calming us down when the blonde boy decides it's a good idea to throw paper at his friend across the classroom.

"Whatcha thinking about Kat?" Gale turns towards me, leaning back against the wall.

"Nothing really." I lie, like always he sees straight through me.

"I know that's not true." He sighs, his grey eyes search mine for the answers he thinks they hold. Lucky for me I learned to mask my emotions years ago.

"You want to hunt Saturday?" Gale asks, changing the subject quickly.

"I have to take Prim to the library to pick out a book for her report, she insists we go right when the library opens, something about free donuts and orange juice." I respond boredly. Normally hunting would excite me, but it's lost its flare since Peeta died, everything has really.

"Sunday?" when I shake my head no he presses on "Come on Kat, you know you'd love to have a bow in your hands again, or an arrow. Give it a chance Katniss, you might surprise yourself." He groans.

"I'll think about it, but don't count on it." The bell rings right as the words slip from my mouth. I'm nearly mowed down by the blonde boy and another bronze haired one as I pick up my bag, resisting Gale when he offers to take it.

"What class do you have next Catnip?" he asks, dodging some girls as we walk down the crowded hall.

"Psychology." I respond curtly, looking down at the pink schedule in my hands.

"Damn, I have Calculus, I'll try to find you next passing period, ok?" he's gone before I can respond, leaving me to wonder how the hell I'm supposed to find my next class.

Something taps on my shoulder and I whirl around quickly. A tiny girl stands in front of me, smiling a soft smile.

"You said you have Psychology right?" she asks, her brown hair bouncing as she talks.

"Yeah, I do." My words come out in on incoherent mumble, but she smiles anyways.

"I'm Rue, I'm going to that class now too." She gives me another smile before walking gracefully in front of me, motioning me to follow her.

"Katniss." I nod, following her through the masses of people.

Two flights of stairs later, we finally reach our classroom.

"Good morning Mr. Young." She smiles softly at the young teacher at the front of the room, writing an assignment on the board.

"Morning, Rue, and you must be Katniss." He looks up at me, holding out his chalky hand for me to shake.

I take it hesitantly, giving him a firm shake.

"You can sit anywhere; there really isn't a seating chart or anything." He goes back to writing on the board.

Rue leads me to the back of the room, pulling a desk up to the one that I presume is hers.

"He's a nice teacher, but his tests are hard." She tries to start a conversation; I just nod warmly, going back to my phone.

_**Save me, its attack of the nice girls**_

I smile at the text before pressing send, patting myself on the back for the witty text.

My phone buzzes against my leg.

**At least you don't have asshole one and asshole two in your class.**

I hold back laughter, shoving the phone into my backpack with a sigh. It's going to be a long day.

I stare at the whiteboard as kids file into the class, barely bothering to pull myself out of the flashback that lurks in my thoughts.

"_It was a great movie Peeta." I laugh, scooting closer to him as we walk hand in hand back to his car._

"_It was horrible." He laughs, I have to agree with him, but I stand my ground._

"_I thought it was cute." His arm snakes around my waist._

"_It was the farthest thing from cute. That messed with my mind." He groans, faking a zombie like the ones in the movie._

_It was made for five year olds, but it was rather trippy, for a G rated movie at least._

"_Ok, you win. I don't get to pick the movies anymore." I laugh, giggling when he pulls me in for a kiss._

"_I would go to any movie if it meant being with you." I push him away._

"_God that was cheesy Peet." I laugh, racing him towards the car._

_As I reach out to touch the cool metal, he swoops me into his arms, swirling me around in the icy snow._

"_Kiss me." He whispers, and I oblige._

Our last kiss, I fight off the flashbacks, knowing what I would have seen if the flashback lasted any longer. The shrink told me it could happen for years after he's been gone. I stopped going to him, but I know I should. Some days are harder, like today, and others go by without a single flashback. I'll never forget Peeta, but sometimes I just wish I could stop seeing the flashbacks, just for a day, and live in the moment.

The bell rings and all around the class, papers shuffle. I pull the backpack up once again, preparing for another day of the hell I live in. My only prayer is no more flashbacks, I can't handle anymore. Not today.

_She had no idea, just how much one look could do. She didn't notice the stares in the hall, or the strange glances as she ate. She was in her own world, and it would take more than just one look to break her out of it. Even he had no idea just how much one look at her would do. She was about to make everything in her perfect world come crashing down whether he liked it or not. He was more addicted than everyone thought. She was his drug._

**Well, a day or two early, how do ya like that? I was super excited writing this, so I really hope you all enjoyed it too. Gosh, I just want to get to the end already! I am going to make you all cry or maybe your minds will explode, I really have no idea, but I am PUMPED. Well, my sane train has left the station, off to bed for me! **

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, a slightly longer chapter is in order here! I promise they will get longer and longer!**

**Hmm, if you are to review, tell me your favorite character. If I haven't incorporated them already, I will try to weave them in!**

**Thank you all so much for the amazing support you have given me! I would love for you to alert, favorite, or review this, whatever you fancy!**

**. . .**

_Neither of them realized that their lives were about to change the minute she walked in the door. Of course, it took time; he was so obsessed with his reflection. How could he see the tiny girl beside him? How could he know how broken she was? How could he have known what that one comment would do to her? How was it his fault? She was so angry. She couldn't take it anymore. Why did Peeta have to leave her? Why did she have to see that movie?_

_. . ._

I walk with my head down, trying to shove past the groups crowding the narrow halls. The tiles underneath me are dirty and faded from the years of abuse. My only goal is to make it to jewelry without talking to anyone. I can't take anymore nice people, God forbid talking to them.

The familiar chatter in the halls is too much for me, it reminds me of him. Hell, everything reminds me of him nowadays.

_You knew you shouldn't let him in._ My mind chides as I try to shake the evil thoughts that plague my mind. I won't fall into that hole again, I'm stronger than that.

Someone bumps against me, and I stumble into the wall just inches away from me. The girl mutters an apology, jogging to catch up to her friends. Just another reminder of why I hate public school.

The art hallway is long, and I find myself lost, looking down at the pink schedule with confusion. All the rooms look the same, and the hallway is empty, with the exception of the occasional kid running past me to class.

"Dammit." I groan, spinning around in frustration.

My feet magically move on their own accord, walking towards the end of the hall where a sharp curve embeds itself into the foyer.

I let out a sigh of relief, finally finding my classroom. As I open the door, sunlight hits my face from a wall of windows lining two of the four walls. I let a soft smile play on my lips as I bask in the natural light that engulfs me. The windows are the first ones I've seen all day.

The teacher sitting behind the desk looks up at me, smiling warmly.

"You must be Katniss then?" he stands, reaching his hand out to me.

I take his hand in my own; giving him a firm shake of the hand.

"Katniss Everdeen." I mumble "I got lost in the hallway." I offer him an apologetic glance but he shrugs it off.

"I'm Mr. Baker, you can call me Captain Baker if you'd like." He grins, his gray hair moving up with his raised eyebrows. He notices my confused stare and quickly adds that he just bought a boat. Apparently his other students have been calling him Captain for a while.

I glance around the room, taking in the line of torches and the kids all hard at work around tables, sawing and hammering what I assume is copper.

"Most of the kids in this class have taken it before; you're the only one that hasn't. I'm not sure why they put you in the advanced class." He pauses, thinking about something in his head before continuing "I guess you can just jump right in with them, you haven't taken any jewelry classes before have you?" he looks down at me and I give him a quick shake of my head no "Hmm, Thom, Delly, come here a second." He calls out.

A girl stands at the back table, pushing away from the metal sheet she is sawing away furiously at. She swats at a boy sitting next to her, pulling out his headphones for him. He gives her a glare, but follows her to the front of the room.

The girl offers me a smile before looking up at Mr. Baker.

"Delly, this is Katniss, you can show her the ropes right?" Mr. Baker doesn't wait for an answer, walking back to his desk.

"Ten bucks says he's looking at pictures of expensive cars." Thom nudges Delly's side; she jumps, hitting his arm dramatically.

"I'm Delly, this idiot is Thom." She smiles again, looking at Thom. He nods his head, giving me a once over.

We walk back to the table, Delly jawing away about the class. To be honest, I zone out after she starts talking about files.

"I'm afraid I can't really help you much, Thom did some of my work last year." Thom snorts behind us.

"Some, some Del? I did all of your work." He gives her another playful shove and I look away, out the windows to the woods looming in the distance.

"Yeah, but really, he did do most of my work. She sits down in her seat, motioning for me to take the chair next to her. Thom gives it up willingly, putting his earphones back in.

I sit in the stiff chair, watching he cut out elegant lines and swirls in the thin sheet of metal.

"Most of the people in the class were in my class last year, it was an easy A. he's a great teacher though, he doesn't care if we're late, or do other homework. As long as we have work for critique, he lets us run free." She looks up from her metal, blowing a piece of her long blonde hair out of her face.

I look around the classroom. Most of the kids are hard at work with metal pieces; other kids are scrolling through things on their phones or flipping through papers.

"That's Thresh." Delly points at the big boy across from us, he cuts on metal silently, not even giving me a second glance. "He keeps to himself, and Fo isn't here today, but she just talks on the phone with her boyfriend. He's way to old in my opinion." She pauses for a breath, raising her eyebrows as another boy walks into the class.

He flops down next to me, throwing a ring on the table with a sigh.

"Who's she?" he asks, looking at me before going back to the ring.

"Katniss, this is Nick, our source of undying entertainment." She rolls her eyes, giggling when he throws the ring down again, sitting back in the chair.

"What isn't working?" Thom asks, returning to the table, throwing his safety glasses lazily onto the wooden surface.

"This black wire stuff is a piece of shit." Nick groans "The solder just runs straight off of it, I can't even get it to stay on the metal." Delly breaks me away from the less than interesting conversation.

"What class do you have next?" Delly asks, giving Thom a longing look.

"History, Ms. Footy I think." I glance back down at the schedule still clasped tightly in my hands.

"Really?" she squeals "Me too, I can walk you there! This is great!" the blabbers on about how excited she is and I zone out, barely noting the way my stomach growls with hunger. I should have eaten this morning.

Time ticks away and I listen to Delly ramble about the various people in the classroom, who she likes and who she doesn't. I try to be nice, but frankly it's a waste of my time. How I'm supposed to survive another hour with this talking machine I will never know.

The ringing of the repulsive bells breaks me from my trance and I stand, waiting for Delly to lead the way.

"Del, I have web design next, I'll meet you at lunch." Thom leans down, pressing a gentle kiss on Delly's forehead, again I turn my head.

Her cheeks redden with traces of a blush "Come on then Katniss. wouldn't want to be late." Another smile graces her lips as she calls goodbye out to Thom and Nick.

For a second, our walk is peaceful and talk-free, but she starts up again and I find myself groaning inwardly.

"Where are you from Katniss?" She asks, leading me through the crowded hallway and up a set of stairs.

"McPherson, Kansas." I respond curtly, focused on the path ahead of me.

"Wow, Kansas, did you live on a farm? I just love horses. They remind me of dogs, but different." She smiles kindly, holding the door to our classroom open.

"Thanks, and no, I lived in town." A tweak of fear crosses my mind, hoping she won't ask any more questions. Luckily she spots a friend sitting in the front row.

"Annie!" she squeals, grabbing my hand and dragging me to where a redhead sits next to the bronze haired boy from my homeroom.

"Delly!" she smiles back, shimmying out of the boy's grasp to hug Delly.

"An, this is Katniss, she's from Kansas." Delly smiles, pushing me in front of her. I suppress a growl, smiling, or trying to smile, kindly at the girl in front of me.

"Hey, you're the girl from homeroom. I'm Finnick." The boy smiles. "Sorry if we about knocked you out this morning. She was the one sitting with Hawethorn." He adds to Annie, she looks up and smiles at me before looking back at her fingernails with a strange intensity.

"Gale?" Delly's head snaps up, searching my eyes with a smirk "Madge will be jealous of that."

I don't have time to question her; the teacher comes in, yelling at us to sit down. I take a seat next to Delly, watching the board with interest. Ms. Footy starts a slideshow about the colonists and I zone out. I learned about this last year, Peeta and I used to go on study dates together.

I smile at the faded memories, us sitting in our booth at the main street deli, watching the other people with interest. He used to take pictures of me when I wasn't looking and Instagram them. I gave him hell for it but he never stopped posting them. I'm sure we were 'that' couple at Mac High, but we didn't care.

Finnick stretches out in front of me, accidentally knocking my schedule to the ground. He picks it up with an apology.

Ms. Footy eventually gives us the rest of period to talk and almost automatically everyone turns around, forming a small circle around Annie and me.

"Where's everyone going next?" Delly asks, looking down at her own pink schedule.

"An and I have anatomy, what about you?" Finnick groans, throwing his arm around Annie's small shoulders. Her lips turn upwards as a small smile flashes across her lips.

"I have English." She responds with a sad sigh "That class will be the death of me, three days in and we already have a vocabulary quiz, like what the hell." Delly looks at me "What about you?"

I look down at my own schedule "Algebra, Mr. Adunis." I respond, dreading the next hour of my life. Math has never been my thing.

"Oh, Cato's in that class." Finnick calls out to me absentmindedly as the bell rings.

I make my way back down the stairs, searching aimlessly for room 302. Eventually I find the 300 hallway, and room 302.

I open the door, instantly hating the cramped windowless room. The sunny yellow of the walls makes me squeamish, and even more claustrophobic than I already am. I take a seat in the back corner, looking dead ahead as other kids file past me into the classroom.

The desk next to me is still empty as the classroom fills and the two minute bell screeches through the halls, ringing in my eardrums long after the horrid noise stops.

As the real bell rings, the blonde from earlier lumbers into the classroom, the same cocky smirk plastered on his face. I roll my eyes and look back at the board, watching Mr. Adunis with scrutiny. His balding head and puffy stomach make my nose crinkle, reminding me of my Spanish teacher from back home. I hated the little man with all the hate my body had.

The chair next to mine groans under the weight of the blonde boy as he sits down next to me. He notices my stare and gives me a cocky nod. I just look away.

"What's wrong, daddy not give you enough money this morning?" he croons, laughing under his breath. I can't help but turn to face him. Who the hell says that to someone they don't know?

"My dad is dead." I hiss through gritted teeth, turning back to face the front of the room, fuming. That ought to shut him up. Jerks like him are the reason I hate guys.

He doesn't so much as glance at me the rest of class, and I pretend to take notes, still hating the boy next to me. Who even thinks of saying that?

My notes are a mess of numbers, Peeta's name, and doodles. So much for actually paying attention this year.

I pack my things up as the bells rings, shoving past 'Cato' and out into the hall. I blend in with the crowd, looking for Gale.

"Catnip." I sigh at the familiar voice, grinning as I turn to face Gale.

"Get me out of here." I groan, banging my head repeatedly on his shoulder.

"Only three more hours." He responds with fake cheerfulness.

"Shut up." I hiss, giving him a smack.

"At least we have lunch hour now, I'm starving." He smiles, leading me towards the cafeteria.

"You're always hungry." I laugh, letting him drag me through the crowds of people.

"You never eat." He counters me, picking up my bony arm. It's not like I want to starve myself to death, but food is scarce and money for lunch is something I don't have.

"You just never see me eat." I lie, but I know he sees right past it.

He lets it go, stopping at a table at the far end of the lunchroom.

"Usually our table gets pretty full. I liked it better when it was just Madge and I, but the girls are pretty cool, and I don't mind Thom." He sits down, pulling out a brown paper sack, tossing it to me "my mom wouldn't let me leave without it." He explains, pulling out his own lunch sack.

I pull out the napkin, opening it up to find a note from his mom.

_Have a great first day Katniss, Posy can't wait to see you and Prim again!_

_XOXO,_

_Hazelle_

I smile, holding it up to show Gale. His cheeks go red.

"I told her not to put that in there. Sorry Catnip." He looks down at his own napkin, sighing when he finds the same note on his own napkin.

I suppress a smirk.

"Shut up Katpiss." He jokes, biting into a thick turkey sandwich.

Another blonde girl sits down next to me, immediately pulling out a thick book. She's engrossed in it before I even have my own sandwich out of the wrapper.

"Madge, this is Katniss, the one I was telling you about." She looks up and gives me a shy smile, going back to her book as soon as she does.

"Oh my god, I can't believe Mrs. Ronald would do that." Delly groans, looking back at Annie with an angry look. The redhead just gives her an apologetic look before squeezing into the same chair as Finnick on the other side of Madge.

Thom comes, kissing Delly on the head before taking his spot next to her. Soon everyone is talking over each other between mouthfuls of food. The only silent one is Madge; she doesn't even seem the bit phased by the scene in front of her.

Annie tosses a sandwich into the middle of the table and Thom scoops it up faster than lightning, frowning when he finds ham inside the thick pieces of white bread. She smiles as Finnick gives her a part of his cookie, leaning into his shoulder, entrapped in his eyes.

I spot Cato across the lunchroom, sitting with the group of guys from earlier and my blood boils, enraged by his cocky disposition.

Gale follows my line of sight and mouths 'trouble' at me discreetly, cocking his head.

I nod; I know the boy is trouble.

He looks at me, studying me with a concerned look. I frown back, allowing him to slide closer to me, making room for Rue and Thresh.

Rue spots me, giving me a small wave. Her brown curls fall in her face as she scoots into the table, Thresh silently following her lead.

I look out at the people at the table, only one person could make this bearable, and he's gone forever. The laughter around me fades into my thoughts and I stare into my memories.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, courtesy of Peeta; his family still pays the bills. My Instagram hasn't been opened in months, but I open it up, going immediately to _**peetabread**_. The pictures of us flood the screen, ice skating, bowling, me sleeping, me at the deli, and finally his favorite picture, us on the boat in the summer. His dad took us out, we stand hand in hand, looking at each other with the sunset as our backdrop.

There are more pictures, but I close out of the app quickly, enough remembering for one day. I don't know why I do this to myself.

. . .

_All those years, all those memories, they flooded into her. For the first time in a very long time, she could feel herself sinking into happiness. As much as she hated this new happiness, she loved it too. Her darkness was drifting away, but his was still coming and it was stronger than ever. She had something that could save him, but she had to let something go in return. She didn't want to let it go, but sometimes love does strange things, and in time she learned that letting go was what she needed all along._

_. . . _

_**Tha**_**nk you so much for your support! I hope to have next chapter up pronto. Now that my break has officially begun, I plan on updating very soon! Loving the longer updates!**

**Well, I would appreciate reviews if you have the time! I love the support you all have given me, it is an extreme blessing.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't like this chapter, but maybe you do. Thank you once again for your support, I wouldn't be where I am today without all of you.**

**I would really appreciate it if you could review, just take the time, I know it's a hassle, but do it as a holiday present? I love hearing from you!**

**Also, if anyone can tell me who the people in the first paragraph are (italics) each one, I will be very surprised! I may even throw in a prize!**

_She watched them that day, they all had stories behind the happy smiles, they all had pasts. One was so lost in the darkness of life, another was her light. One was a dancer, another her biggest fan. One was the football star, another the invisible girl he made visible. They were an odd mix, but what group wasn't. They were happy that way. _

_She watched everything, and kept the memories locked up in her heart. She wished her Peeta was there every second, but soon another drifted into her life, and she believed it could be true. He could be the one for her, but life crashes down at the worst of times, and those you trust turn out to be the ones you shouldn't._

. . .

"Hey Katniss, wait up." I turn to see Delly rushing after me, clutching her bag to her side. She gives me a warm smile, slowing down when she finally reaches me.

"Hey Delly." I offer back, attempting a smile.

"You left lunch so quick I thought I wasn't going to catch you. I can walk you to your next class, I heard you have Mrs. Ronald. We had a vocab quiz today, can you believe that. I left my jacket in her room though, but don't worry, people don't usually steal things here." There's an awkward pause in the conversation as she runs out of breath and looks up at me, expecting me to fill in the gap.

"Yeah." Is all I can manage, staring ahead of me.

_Dammit Katniss, you have to do better than that. Do you want friends here?_

Peeta was always the one that was good with people.

_No way in hell we're going to think about him again, think about class. For God's sake think of something to say._

I pull myself out of my chiding mind, looking at Delly. I can see something in her eyes, I can see past the kind façade, something in her past is dark, something not many people know about I'm sure.

"Well," she smiles awkwardly "are you having a good first day?" her blonde hair is pushed back nervously as we shuffle down the hall.

"Yeah, so far so good, right?" I smile halfheartedly, adjusting the heavy books in my arms.

"Yeah, you know you don't have to talk back. I understand if you don't want to talk. Gale told me a little bit about you, I'm sorry, but um-I-I know what it's like not to have the right words, and if you, you know, need someone, I'm-I'll be here for you. I know we just met and all, but I'm a good listener too." She fidgets at a standstill, looking at me with a twisted anxious face.

"That's nice of you, but I'm over it, really." _No you aren't _"I'm fine"_ you're the farthest thing from fine Katniss. _I give her another fake smile before turning towards the classroom at the end of the hall.

The lunch bell rings and students file down the hall towards classrooms, giving Delly one last smile I push myself through the door into my next class. She follows silently, the smile fallen from her face.

"Hey Delly, your jacket is right over on the front table." The teacher calls out from her desk, barely looking up at us before she begins typing furiously on her computer again.

"Thank you Mrs. Ronald." Delly gives her a small smile of thanks before she turns to the door "see you later Katniss." Her smile is brighter this time, and she gives me a big wave the door shutting behind her.

"You must be Katniss?" the teacher behind the desk stands, giving me a once over.

"Yes ma'am." I respond through gritted teeth, I can already tell I won't like her. Her ego seems to vibrate off of her in waves like heat in the summer.

"Ma'am, I like it. You must be one of those country girls, am I right? Don't even answer that, I know I am." She lets out an obnoxious chuckle, pointing at a desk as other kids come filing in the room "you, sit there behind Johanna." She points again, turning back to the door to harass another student.

I look around the room, trying to identify Johanna before the teacher turns her attention back to me.

"Hey, brainless, don't you see the hand waving in front of your face?" a girl with spikey hair calls out, motioning me over "I'm Jo, I guess the witch wants you to be my buddy, she's all about forcing friends on people, stupid teacher." She scoffs, kicking the chair in front of her.

"Katniss." I nod in her direction, pulling the chair out from the desk and taking a seat quickly.

"Alright, settle down, Logan, throw the smoothie away, what did we talk about? No food in the classroom!" a boy in the last row of chairs stands dejectedly, walking the long walk to the trashcan. He takes one last drink, throwing it away quickly.

"Bitch." Jo whispers behind me.

"Alright hand in your papers, if you don't have one, feel ashamed. You had two days to write this people, it should have taken thirty minutes." The sound of papers shuffling in backpacks and binders fills the room.

I look at the others in the class, most look like they stayed up way too late writing the paper, others look like they want a pat on the back for their completion.

"Katniss, could you come up here for a second?" Mrs. Ronald calls from her desk as students organize their papers on the front table.

I stand silently, trying not to draw any attention to myself as I make my way swiftly to the front.

"We are doing a letter project in here, exploring different types of writing. Right now we are on the personal letter, aka the easiest one. While the kids take the vocab quiz I want you to write a letter to someone you've lost, it could be a grandparent, a pet, a friend, just someone you miss. I'll read it after you're done, and from there I'll get a feel of where you are with your writing. Your old school sent over copies of your previous writing. Winner of the Young Writers of Kansas poetry contest… impressive Katniss. When we're on our poetry unit you can read it for us." She smiles, handing me a blank piece of notebook paper.

"Thank you, I'll get writing now." I take the paper back to my desk, pulling out a pen as the vocab quizzes are passed out.

I stare at the paper, thinking of all the people I could write the letter to. Before I can even think rationally, my hand moves on its own accord. I stare down at the perfectly scrawled name on the paper. My heart beats a little bit faster and I restrain myself from crossing the name out. I have to face it sometime.

_Peeta,_

I stop, pulling my pen up. What the hell am I even supposed to say after this. I shouldn't have taken Advanced Placement English. It's Mr. Thomas's fault, he was my honors lit teacher. He changed my papers for me, he didn't even let me know until the summer. The pen presses against the paper.

_I'm honestly not sure what I'm supposed to write here. It's not like you're ever going to read this, so why write it. God, do you know how much I miss you. I can barely hold back tears right now. You'd hate that, me crying. You've only seen me cry, twice? Maybe three times._

_What do you say to someone that's never coming back? I'm sorry doesn't help the pain, I'll always be in your debt. I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life now, and I can't help it. My mind is such a mush of jumbled thoughts right now._

_Can you believe I'm going to be graded on this? It's stupid, how can you express your feelings to someone in a letter someone other than the person is going to read and pick apart. I wouldn't be surprised if she comments on my uses off rhetorical devices._

_I hate it here. It's nothing like McPherson, New York City without you, like what the hell am I supposed to do without you? This was our dream, and I have to live it alone. God, I'm rambling again aren't I? _

_The nightmares have been bad again, Prim can barely stand to be in the same room as me at night. Of course mom is the same, she barely acknowledges us. I'm running out of money again, I don't what to do this time. I'm going to end up starving to death before I graduate._

_Gale has been helping me, he drives me to school, I don't think he likes me walking the streets. We don't exactly live in the nicest part of town, the outskirts mostly. Life doesn't make much sense to me anymore._

_To tell you the truth, living is hard again. I know I promised you that it would never get that bad again, but things are falling, fast, and I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm a mess Peeta, just like the writing in this letter is. I'm going to be failing the class before I even start. Maybe I should just turn in a blank piece of paper and tell her I haven't lost anyone. I'm turning into a rebel again._

_Class is going to end soon, and I now this hasn't been much of a letter. I miss you, and I am sorry for making you see that movie and if I could take it back I would one thousand times. Sometimes, when things get hard, I think about you, in heaven, and I picture our house up there. I know you're building it and waiting for me. _

_I love you more than life,_

_Katniss_

The bell rings as I finish writing my name. I contemplate sneaking out, not letting her see the letter, but I walk straight up to the front of the room. My hands tremble as I hand her the letter, she looks up and tells me to have a good day but everything around me is muted.

It's like I'm in a dream, I walk out of the classroom slowly, barely able to keep my footing as I stumble towards the stairs. Gale said my philosophy class was right up the stairs on the left.

As I turn into the stairway, I run straight into a boy coming down the other way. I'm knocked to the floor, the books in my arms spilling around me, and papers flying. I snap out of it in time to be pulled up off the ground, the same boy that knocked me down is supporting me while someone else picks up my books.

I shake off the hands, standing on my own.

"Sorry." I mutter, looking at the ground.

When I look up at the boys his eyes have softened and he hands me a pile of books.

"No, that was my fault, I'm Marvel." His voice is raspy and rough, and the collar of his shirt covers what I assume is a tattoo, judging from the top that peaks out, it covers his shoulder.

"Katniss." I manage to choke out, looking back at the ground cursing myself for getting caught staring.

"You must be new here, what class are you going to?" he grabs my elbow, leading me out of the river of students shoving past us to get to class.

"Philosophy, Mr. White I think." His face breaks out into a small half grin.

"You my friend are going the wrong direction, I have that class too. I'll take you." He gently pushes me in front of him by my shoulders, leading me through the streams of people headed for the stairs.

. . .

_What could be so wrong? Couldn't she just forget about her past, let everything stay behind? Life said no, but she fought it like hell. This was her life, no one would take it from her. So what if the new boy smoked on the weekends and hung out with the wrong crowd, so what if he had pent up anger. She was rebelling again, and the new boy coming into her life for a fling wasn't going to solve a thing._

_It was just like her love to come at the right time, her knight in shining armor saved her life, and then she started to realize just all she had right in front of her. It took time, but time they had. She learned to trust, but trust can be ripped away even by the tiniest of people._

**I don't like this chapter, but maybe you do. Thank you once again for your support, I wouldn't be where I am today without all of you.**

**I would really appreciate it if you could review, just take the time, I know it's a hassle, but do it as a holiday present? I love hearing from you!**

**Also, if anyone can tell me who the people in the first paragraph are (italics) each one, I will be very surprised! I may even throw in a prize!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	5. Chapter 5

**This will be the most important AN you will ever read from me: I have decided that I will write only one more story after this. I will finish the stories that I have started, no, I haven't forgotten about them. This new story is going to be different and it will mean more to me than the world. **

**As you can tell, Delly and Thom have an important role in this fiction. That's because Delly is me. After this story I will be telling my story. Uncut and unedited, only my Thom doesn't know just how much he has done for me yet. Delly has a dark past, and I am going to tell it. I hope you all will support me like you always have and I know it will be a success.**

**Once I post the last chapter of that story, I will formally quit writing FanFiction. I am going to start focusing on my real writing and get back into my originals so that maybe someday a few of you will know me as more than just dedicatedwallflower.**

**I know a few of you will grumble about the AN or how arrogant I sound, but please understand that was not my intent! I understand I am no more special than any of you and I want to keep it that way!**

_So what if her new friends all hated him. They didn't matter, right? She was a hopeless case, and it was going to take more than a few girly chats to break her from her spell. She never expected to need saving. She could always take care of herself. She wasn't a damsel in distress and he sure as hell wasn't her knight in shining armor._

_Or was he?_

**. . .**

We move like silent predators through the crowd, people seem to drift out of the way for him, but he doesn't seem to notice. I've seen his type before, they were the kids that got high on the weekends and smoked across the street from the school at Mac High. Peeta kept me away from them, but he couldn't keep Addi away.

Her daddy was the Mayor of the town, and in an act of rebellion she did drugs. Addi was getting high for three weeks before her mom found out. She was sent away for a while, but she came back quickly. She never really liked the drugs; she just wanted to get attention back from her family. She was one of the few girls that was nice to me after Peeta asked me out.

It seemed like the world turned against me when Peeta asked me out. I tried to tell Peeta but he refused to believe my silly antics. He told me I was being over dramatic. I wasn't.

Self-consciously I pull my jacket tighter around me. Marvel notices and moves his hands from my shoulders, stopping suddenly at a closed door with music streaming out of it.

"Hey White." Marvel calls out as we open the door.

The man behind the desk looks up at us, nodding his head before he goes back to the computer, switching the song.

The bass shakes the floor and I can't help but raise my eyebrows watching our teacher with speculation. In Mac, this would have never happened. The teacher would have been out of work before he could even press play on his fancy computer.

"We do absolutely nothing in here. It's a shitload of pointless movies and packets. I haven't done a single thing." Marvel informs me, flipping a cellphone out of his bag.

I only nod in approval; an hour to sort my thoughts will be nice. The rest of the class files in, and I get the usual looks. There are a few smiles from kids I recognize, Nick, the boy from my sculpture class gives me a frown and walks straight past me earning a smirk from Marvel.

I give him a questioning look, but he shakes his head. His eyes say it's a story for another time and I don't push it.

The music suddenly stops as the bell rings and I watch as Mr. White struggles to pull himself out of the chair. I'm surprised that he doesn't just roll over like a ball. I find myself chuckling as imagine his rolling across the floor like a big bouncy ball. My chuckle doesn't go unnoticed and soon Marvel is giving me a look that can only say 'what the hell'.

Promptly shaking my head I turn back to face the front. I can feel the glare of Nick pulsating towards Marvel and I. Making a mental note to ask Delly about it as soon as possible, my attention is again distracted by the lights turning off, leaving the room in darkness.

"I know you all are excited for the game tonight, and I figured what the hell, you all won't do any work today anyways, so we're going to watch a movie." Mr. White calls out in a nasally voice that I find slightly irritating.

As my eyes become accustomed to the darkness, and the beginning few seconds of the movie begin to play I recognize the movie right away.

_Coralline _a movie Peeta and I seemed to watch every other night with his tiny niece Stella. I have some good memories from this movie, as everything seems to fade around the edges; I grip onto the chair tightly. At this point I'm willing to do anything to stay in reality. No more Peeta.

_He's dead Katniss _my mind chides at me as I fight the urges.

I succumb like the weak person I am and memories of what used to be happiness resurface much to my distaste.

"_Shh Stellbelle, the movie is starting." Peeta's gentle whisper sends a chill through my spine as Stella stops her babbling, watching the screen with wide eyes full of anticipation._

_It must be my third time this week watching this movie, but every time I watch it, it grows on me._

_The smell of popcorn wafts towards me and naturally my grimace turns into a big grin. The couch sinks in next to me and the familiar warmth of Peeta envelops me. He places the big bowl in my lap, handing the smaller bowl to Stella who sits on the floor, shoving popcorn into her mouth with her still chubby arms._

_There hasn't been a waking hour gone by that Peeta hasn't been at my side, unless you count the two blocks we have away from each other at school, but we find ways to work around it. Frequenting the bookstore during my study hall makes up for it. _

_I shove the first fistful of popcorn in my mouth, avoiding the horrified glance Peeta gives me._

"_What?" I whisper through a muffled mouth of popcorn, it sounds more like a mushed up grumble that anything else._

"_I'm dating a wild animal." Peeta gives me his famous Mellark half grin, grabbing a piece and tossing it into his own mouth, smiling at the satisfying crunch it gives._

_I finish chewing, giving him a smile before turning back towards the TV, watching the crazy show go on. About five minutes later, a hand with a piece of popcorn finds my mouth. Trying to remain calm against the thousands of butterflies going off in my stomach I casually take the popcorn out of his hand with my mouth. His fingers against my lips send a jolt of electricity through my spine._

_Leaning slowly down onto his warm shoulder, my hands find his waist, pulling him close to me with searching fingers. When my hands finally find his own, I capture it, gently tugging it until it rests right next to me. _

_I can feel his smile, it's proud, like he's won a baseball game or something. He won me. His lips find the top of my head, kissing my soft brown curls. I can still feel his smile tugging at the corners of his mouth when he finally pulls away._

"_Uncy Bubba, stop touching Tatniss!" we both jump at the shrill squeal coming from the floor._

"_What, you mean like this?" Peeta leans don innocently, staring at his niece as he presses his lips right onto mine._

"_Dross Bubba, dross!" she cries again, jumping up on the couch between us. I barely have a chance to move the popcorn bowl, avoiding a big mess._

"_Stell, why can't I give Kat kisses?" Peeta asks, giving her what I assume to be his best puppy dog eyes._

"_I want kisses!" she squeals again, moving over onto Peeta's lap giggling._

"_Maybe I don't want to kiss you!" he challenges, her face turns downwards in a matter of seconds._

"_I don't like you Bubba." She growls, scooting back to the floor his a muffled humph._

"_No, no Stella, I didn't mean it; you're my number one girl. Katniss doesn't even matter." I smack him and he lets out a sharp ow "Ok maybe she matters a little, but nothing compared to my little Stellbelle." I can detect the joking air to his voice, so I don't push it. He won't get off the hook easily for saying I don't matter either, but that's another time's problem._

"_I love you Uncy Bubba!" Stella smiles, returning to the movie, shoving our popcorn up next to her._

"_Let's see, where were we?" Peeta smiles coyly, pushing a bit of loose hair out of my face._

"_I believe we were at the part where you said I didn't matter." I respond, looking at the TV with no emotion._

"_Aww Kat, come on." He groans "You know I didn't mean it. You're more than worth it." He kisses my nose softly, just a tiny peck compared to the previous one._

"_How much is that?" I find myself shocked; flirting is never this easy for me. I must be sick._

"_Like more than the moon loves the earth, and more than the sun decides to shine." He lightly feathers my face with his lips, playing every part of my mind._

"_I love you." I whisper in a such a tone that barely a sound comes out._

"_I love you more than that." His hands find my waist, pulling me up against his chest._

_The movie plays on and I forget our plans of having friends over to watch a scary movie. I fall asleep in his arms slowly but surely. _

"_Is she asleep?" I'm just waking up when I hear Addi's soft voice breaking through my tranquility. I can tell she's trying not to wake me, but her eyes are locked on Tyler's quiet form. Just by the tone of her voice I can tell he's holding onto her waist. She sounds peaceful for the moment being. It's only like this when he's around._

"_Alright alright, break up the love fest, the party has arrived!" I fake a startled jump, blinking my eyes slowly to get used to the harsh artificial lighting of the basement._

The sound of a bell pulls me out of my memories. I grab my bag quickly, making it to the door when Marvel finally stops me.

"Hey, uh were you alright today?" his voice is raspy, and for a second it makes me forget that I just had one of the longest flashbacks since the wreck. My doctor won't be happy. He thinks I should be able to control them by now.

When I don't respond, he pulls me to the side of the hallway.

"Look, I don't know what you're doing tonight, but if you aren't going to the game with anyone yet, I was wondering if you would want to hang out with me?" the last part comes out as a question and I frown at the ground subtly.

"I don't know-" is all I manage to get out before someone else has me going in the complete opposite direction.

"She's going with me." Nicks voice is a surprise, a welcome one at that.

Marvel's eyes narrow, but he says nothing, walking away from Nick with a look that could wipe out Rhode Island.

"Excuse me, but what the hell was that about?" we're about halfway down the hall before I muster up the courage to ask.

"He broke my sister, he's dangerous. Stay away from him." Nick disappears into the crowd and before long Delly is at my side, talking about how much we're going to love anatomy. By this time I've gotten accustomed to just drowning her out, only using a few 'yeah's' here and there.

Anatomy drags on for what seems like hours. My newest friend, Glimmer, looks at her nails while Delly furiously takes notes in a purple spiral. I just look around the room. The big blonde boy is in my class. I've felt his searching eyes on my back for the past twenty minutes. Every passing moment sends a new shiver down my spine.

When the final bell finally rings, I practically sprint to the doors, finding Gale's car parked exactly where we left it. I just want this day to end. I knew leaving Mac would be bad on my mind, I just never thought it could be this bad.

_Of course she was lost, more than anyone guessed. Why did the one she loved have to leave so suddenly? He was opening the door for her to find what was really meant for her. She was more than just another girl. She was Katniss._

**. . .**

**Tell me how you enjoyed it!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	6. Gale's Mind

**Since I haven't been very kind about this whole updating process, here is a short sneak into Gale's mind during the time period that Peeta was killed.**

**YES THIS IS THE PAST!**

_Gale POV after Peeta's death_

She's faded into a ghost of herself. The one thing she despised so much, her mother, is taking her over. I'll never understand what Peeta and her had together. Hell, I'll never understand a lot of things that mind comes up with. One thing I understand now is that she's slipping from reality. Fast.

Every day is a battle. I can see it in her eyes and the way she holds her arms around her waist tightly. She wishes it was him.

When I first arrived at the house, I could tell she was in pain. I worried the whole way to mac, a freaking twenty two hours of pure panic.

I can't help but say I was excited when I first heard the news. How long had I waited for her? How long had I watched lover boy kiss the girl I loved? How many pictures had I scrolled through on my feed of her? How could she not see how much I loved her?

Then I saw how happy she was with him, and for a while, I gave up on the hope that there would be a breakup. Hell, I had the tux picked out that I was going to wear to their wedding. Not really, but I could picture the wedding in my mind.

I always thought he would sweep her off into the sunset, make her forget about the friend I once was. When she started dating Peeta, everything was about him. I was a forgotten plaything from her childhood.

Then, she started to depend on me. I became the lifeline she needed. I was the one to pull her out of hell. I was the one that stuck with her and made sure she didn't go back off the deep end. For a while it worked, then, two weeks after I had finally gotten her to snap out of it, the flashbacks started.

It was dreadful. At first they were of the crash, and she would kick and thrash and scream. All I could do was watch her. I couldn't help her, I couldn't pull her out of them. She would stay in flashback land for hours at a time. I would hold her still, make sure she didn't hurt herself, but she was in pain, and it hurt me.

I convinced her to see the shrink, but it wasn't without a fight. She screamed at me for an hour straight the first time I suggested it to her.

He helped her, and she was able to control the screaming and kicking. The flashbacks were shorter, and we left Mac for good. I'll never forget the look on her face when we said goodbye to Peeta. We all hoped he would make some miraculous recovery. Well, everyone but me did.

I think Katniss was secretly hoping it would be like a movie, and his eyes would flutter open as she whispered goodbye. They didn't.

They took him off life support as she held his hand. She just kept whispering apologies in his ear. It was then that I realized why she was beating herself up over his death. She was the one that convinced him to go to the movies, and as crazy as it sounds, she was blaming herself for his death.

She wouldn't let me leave her bed that night, her tiny arms were locked around my waist. Four weeks before, and I would have been a jumping bundle of hormones under her touch. That night was nothing like how my mind thought a bed and her would be.

There was no sex, no steamy dirty talking. It was only her sobs and my reassuring whispers that filled the room. I had never seen her so broken, and it ripped my heart in two. I would do anything to bring Peeta back to her, seeing Katniss hurt was too much for me.

When we got to NYC, she switched back into dead dad mode. Everything was cool and calculated. There was no crying or vulnerability. It was just Katniss trying to survive. She was cold and hardened. It was the Katniss I had fallen in love with all the years ago, yet I couldn't help but miss the Katniss that I had seen for the few weeks in mac.

I let my mind drift to Prim, how she was the one to take care of Kat when Peeta died. Prim took care of Katniss like Katniss had once taken care of her. I think Prim liked the fact that she was doing something se helpful. Now it's back to normal, Katniss helping anything and everything, and Prim hidden under her sister's protective wing.

I sigh, thinking of all the things Katniss has been through. It a wonder the girl is still alive and pushing forwards.

I snap out of my thoughts, listening in on the conversation on the other side of the lockers.

I throw my jersey over my pads, patting them into place as I catch bits of the conversation.

"Damn, new girl was mighty fine." Benson's voice carries over the lockers with a low rumble. My heart freezes in my chest.

"I'd definitely go for that." The hair on the back of my neck stands at attention as I realize that Cato is the instigator of the conversation.

"Dude, did you see the looks she gave, damn she would eat you before you even got to ask her for her number." Finnick joins the conversation.

"I like a challenge." Cato responds, and white hot fury courses through my veins.

Like hell he will. I can't let him get near him, the asshole.

I like challenges too.

**I am actually quite excited about this chapter, it made me excited writing it.**

**I want you all to know that every one of you means so much to me. Some of the things you have said just make me so happy.**

**I am BLESSED the have readers like you. When I stop writing I hope to continue to build friendships with each and every one of you over this site. Feel free to pm me at any time! My doors are always open for chats!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	7. Don't You Forget

**AUTHOR NOTES**

As of now, my last story's first chapter is posted. It is called "Confessions of a Victim" and I would really love for you to check it out! It coincides with this story and will be written at the same time, disregard the note on the first chapter of the story; I have decided to write it at the same time.

If you all are still reading this, I would like to know how your day was, mine was stellar, in case you all were wondering.

Also, if any of you need to talk, or even just want to say hello, my PM doors are always open to all. I love hearing from you guys! It makes me get warm fuzzies!

**Chapter 6**

_She never bargained on gaining anything from school. Not friendship, not knowledge, and certainly not love. There was no way this was happening. It had to stop, everything had to stop. She couldn't handle more heartbreak in her life. No more._

_. . ._

The cool air conditioning blasting from the vents mixed with the rolled down windows sends the loose tendrils of hair around my face whipping through the air.

"Good first day?" Gale asks, smirking at me as he stares at the road, driving as safely as he can.

"Thank God it's a Friday." I huff, picking at a piece of fuzz at the bottom of my shirt. I don't have to look at him to tell that he's looking at me with one of the intense stares Gale keeps in a special place for me.

"Katniss, how many flashbacks did you have today?" his hand finds mine on the worn seats of his truck. For once I don't shy away, I let him hold my hand, praying it doesn't send the wrong messages.

"Three, maybe four." I shrug my shoulders, if I don't act like it's a big deal, he won't either.

It doesn't work.

Within seconds we are pulling over and the truck lurches to a stop in front of a gas station that has long since been abandoned. My heart beats a little bit faster when I realize how vulnerable we are on the side of the road. A driver could easily swerve and hit us. We would die.

_What the hell Katniss, you can't be scared of cars forever. Get over it. You're in a freaking huge truck. If anything you guys would smash whatever was coming your way._

Sighing I ignore my thoughts, leaning my head over to rest it on Gale's shoulder. He smiles, throwing his arm around me protectively.

"I'm glad you're back Kat, I was worried." He glances down at me with a soft smile.

"Me too Gale." I lie easily. He doesn't see past it this time and I feel a twinge of guilt lying to him.

"There's a football game tonight, and I think Delly wanted you to go. I'm playing, but I know the girls all want you to go. I think Nick was going to go too." The name sets off an alarm in my head and I turn towards Gale.

"What the hell is his problem?" I groan, looking up to face Gale.

He sighs and looks down at me with wide eyes. I can tell he's contemplating whether to tell me or not.

"Last year, his little sister was dating this guy named Marvel, Katniss I don't know if I should be telling you this." His sigh mixes with the sounds of the traffic whirring past us on the road with an eerie rush of noises. Somewhere in the distance, police sirens screech through the air.

"Please Gale?" I plead, looking into his eyes with what I assume is a puppy dog face. It's been a while since I've had to beg for anything.

It works, and soon he's turning towards me, his arm still draped across my shoulders like a protective shield.

"Marvel's a part of the bad crowd Katniss, he isn't like Addi. They don't buy and sell for fun." I can detect the warning in his voice "Anna, Nick's little sister was a freshman last year, she would have been a sophomore this year." Gale pauses, as if he's regaining his breath and his composure "Marvel got her hooked of cocaine, she was so young, so innocent, pretty soon she was sleeping around for money and Nick tried so hard to stop her but it just didn't work. She ODed over the summer. Nick blames Marvel for everything. Katniss this isn't McPherson anymore, druggies here aren't like Addi. I want you to be careful." Gale stares out the window for a moment, lost in his thoughts. I find myself lost in my own.

"Gale" I whisper as he throws the truck into gear.

"Yeah Kat?" he forces a smile in my direction.

"How the hell did we end up like this?" my voice is dripping with sarcasm and layered in hurt.

I know he can't answer the question, hell no one ever will. I just keep hoping that someday I'll wake up, on my bed, back in McPherson. Peeta would be there, Prim too, and he'd be asking me if I wanted pancakes or waffles for breakfast. Prim would be gushing about a movie star that starred in her favorite movie. Everything would be perfect. More than perfect.

"You know I can't answer that Katniss, just be happy we're still alive." Gale's deep chuckle fills the truck with a new sense of warmth

The rest of the ride is full of small talk and giggles, something that is vastly different than my usual nods of fake laughter.

We pull into the parking lot only a few minutes later, the parking lot is empty aside from an old beet up Honda CRV that belongs to the landlord. Most of our building rides a bike or works late into the night to support themselves. I have to remind myself of how lucky I am to have enough to go to school, however much I hate it.

"So the game." We lurch to a stop right in front of my building.

"What about it?" I huff, kicking open the door of the truck with my foot as I struggle to untangle my backpack from Gale's.

"Are you going to go?" he effortlessly picks up both of our backpacks, swinging them over his shoulder before rushing to the passenger side in time to shut the door behind me.

"I don't know Gale, this whole friends thing-" I stop talking, we both know how I was going to end the statement, and he looks away.

"I know, it's not you, but how long are you going to keep hiding from the world? I can't keep covering for you. Hell Katniss, you're damn lucky I'm still around. How do you expect to have a normal life, how do you think you're going to forget about him if you keep slipping into the shadows?" Gale's eyes piece my soul.

A defiant answer dissolves on the tip of my tongue. I don't want to forget. I can't let him go.

"You can't carry around the guilt forever." He finally whispers, pulling me closer to him. I turn away quickly, suddenly shy from his touch.

"I'm sorry, we should go inside." I finally whisper, pushing by Gale to the barred glass door.

He pulls it open for me, following in silence.

The only sound in the staircase is our feet pounding on the concrete steps to the sixth floor. The silence isn't relaxing, or clam like it usually is. It's full of tension and an unclaimed anxiety flowing freely from both of us.

The tension doesn't stop when we step out of the stairwell and onto the worn wood of the sixth floor walkway. It follows us straight to my door, and as I turn the key it grows, I know it isn't over yet, it never will be with Gale.

"Look, Catnip, I shouldn't have said what I did." He finally whispers, and I can tell how hard it was for him to even utter the words. Gale and apologies don't usually go together very well.

"No, it's fine. I probably needed to hear it anyways." I respond with a sigh, knowing full well that everything he said was laced with a stinging truth.

"Katniss!" Prim's excited yells fill the apartment as soon as our feet cross the threshold.

"Hey little duck!" I chuckle, swooping her up into a warm embrace when she launches herself into my arms.

Just hugging her brings me back into reality. She's the reason I've fought so hard to survive, and she's the reason I will keep fighting. I hug her tighter, reveling in how grounded my little sister makes me feel. Her soft blue eyes look up at me excitedly and she begins to blabber about her friends and how they all plan on going to the game.

"Hang on Prim, let Gale and I get in the door, then we can talk." I laugh, ruffling her hair.

She's grown up so much since daddy died. She was what, seven, when he left us for good. Now she's twelve, taking on the seventh grade. Time flew in McPherson, and now she isn't my little duck anymore. She's becoming her own person, despite her thin bony body, and sunken eyes, she radiates happiness and warmth to all that come into contact with her.

"Kat are you listening to me?" I look up at her just in time to realize I've just spaced out during our entire conversation.

"Sorry Prim, I was thinking. What were you saying?" I chuckle nervously. She searches me with caution, most likely looking for any sign of sadness on my hardened features.

"So I hung out with Rory today," I can't help but notice the blush that creeps onto her face when she whispers his name "and he introduced me to all of his friends and I met a girl named Amber. Oh Katniss, she was so nice, you would love her. She plays soccer too, and she wants me to join their team because they have an opening. Crystal and Janelle were so nice too, and there was this guy named Jake. I had so much fun at school. Guess what Kat?" she stops gushing long enough to look at me with exited eyes.

"What Prim?" I try to put as much excitement into my words as she has put into hers, it works well enough and in a few seconds she's back to explaining with wild hand motions.

"There's a football game tonight, and Rory said Gale is playing and everyone's going to watch. Jake and Rory are being recognized from the middle school team tonight for being good players, and everyone will be there," in my head I know where this is going "and Amber really wants me to go, she even said I could sleep over at her house afterwards. Please Katniss, Please?" she gets down on her knees next to the chair, clasping her hands together as she looks up at me with big pleading eyes. How could I ever say no?

"Of course you can Prim!" I smile at her. I barely get the words out before she is off the ground, jumping up and down and clapping like a maniac.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she squeals, hugging me as she bounces.

"Prim, can't breathe." I joke through huge gasps of air.

She lets go of me quickly before running off to her room, still squealing about what a great sister I am.

As Gale and I head to my room, I peek in the crack of my mother's door. She still sits alone, staring straight ahead. Having seen enough, I pull the door shut with a, apartment rattling bang.

Sighing, we enter the room Prim and I share. She sits in her corner, picking out a purple shirt to wear to the game.

"Gale, which shirt looks better?" he nearly chokes on his water when Prim asks, looking up at her with dazed eyes.

Part of me is astounded that she didn't ask me, but the other part knows why she didn't. Rory, she's trying to impress sweet, shy Rory.

"Uhm, the one without the frillies." He responds after a moment of close inspection.

Her cheeks turn a familiar shade of cherry red as she makes her way into our bathroom with the choice shirt.

"You know I'll kill Rory if he breaks her heart." I threaten after a moment of silence.

"I don't doubt it." He responds, a deep laugh escaping his lips.

I take the water bottle from his hands, taking a big drink of the cool liquid. It rushes down my throat with satisfying refreshment. Sighing I toss the water bottle back to him. He catches it easily, placing it on the dirty carpeting below him.

"So this game." I raise my eyebrows at him.

"So this game." He responds with a smirk.

. . .

Two hours later I'm sitting on the top bleacher of the stadium, sandwiched between Delly who's only interest is Thom who stands on her other side, and Rue who, despite her quite demeanor, is cheering louder for Thresh than I've ever heard anyone cheer. How did I ever get myself dragged into this?

Annie stands on the bleacher below me, clapping in time with the fight song as the boys run out onto the field. Football really isn't my thing. I find myself spaced out until band begins to play the national anthem.

My eyes automatically swoop over the jerseys, in search of the number twelve I've always looked for. I'm disappointed when I find the number on the back of a broad-shouldered boy standing at the front of the line for the national anthem. As it plays, I stare at the number twelve.

I've always loved the number. It was Peeta's number. I shake the thoughts away; I won't let them take me over now.

As the anthem ends, the boy turns around with the rest of the football team and my heart sinks as I realize who else bares the number. The asshole from math stands next to the water cooler, talking to Finnick.

"Katniss, look how cute Gale looks!" Delly nudges me, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No, Delly it's not like that. We're just friends." I say quickly, probably a little too quickly.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you, so romantic." Delly sighs, looking down at the field with a dreamy smile.

The glare that Madge gives me from over Thom's shoulder doesn't go unnoticed. I'd like to tell her that she can have him, keep him, but I'm selfish. I want him for myself. He has to be my rock now, no one else's. My eyes narrow back and she looks away quickly. I've been told I can be quite intimidating when I need to be.

Satisfied that I've scared the living shit out of her I turn back to Delly with a small smile.

"It isn't like that, I promise." The words dissolve into a whisper on my tongue when he smiles at me from the field before running out to join the rest of his teammates in the huddle.

I spot Glimmer in the front row of cheerleaders, looking less than enthusiastic about the game. To be honest, she looks like she'd rather be walking on hot coals.

Annie notices my stare and turns to face me.

"She hates cheerleading," she calls loudly over the cheers of the fans as one of the players makes an excellent tackle "she only does it because her mom makes her." Annie smiles at me, turning back Johanna, the girl from English that stands next to her.

Rue's yells break me from my thoughts. I'll be lucky if I make it out of here with my eardrums intact. I chuckle lightly at her antics, joining in when the team scores its first touchdown.

I shiver against the cold wind that blows from behind us, and I wrap my arms tighter around my midsection.

"You cold?" Nick's voice carries over the chanting of the fans.

I jump, startled by his ability to sneak up on me in the way he did.

"Nick!" Delly shouts, pulling him towards her and into a bone crushing hug "You made it!" she exclaims excitedly.

"Yeah, stop touching me." Nick pushes her off of him, using her shoulder to hoist himself onto the bleacher in between us.

Delly, now over her previous fit of excitement, turns back to Thom, whispering to him in the same hushed whispers as earlier.

"Football not your thing?" Nick asks, breaking the awkward silence between us.

"I don't like it." I lie. In all honesty, I've been fighting against the memories that plague me in hallucinations.

"Neither do I." he grins at me, handing me his sweatshirt. I take it gratefully, reveling in its warmth and wind blocking skills.

"Thanks." My response is muffled by the sweatshirt as I struggle to pull it over my head. It's so large that I'm lost instantly in it.

It takes both of us to get my head in the hole, and it leaves us both in a fit of laughter. It feels good to laugh this easily, like something in me is finally being set free slowly but surely.

Nick, Rue, and I chat until halftime when Rue drags me off to go to the bathroom.

"It's so cold." Her teeth chatter as we huddle in the line for the ladies room.

"I know, weather here is crazy." I respond, hugging myself.

Just earlier the weather was great, in the seventies actually, now it's dropped about twenty degrees and is sending a chill down everyone's spines.

I look at myself in the mirror while I wait for her to use the restroom. I look tired, and drained of all energy. Gale was right to worry about me. I look like a zombie. The bags under my eyes are clear indicators of the rough sleepless nights that plague me.

"So you and gale huh?" Rue smirks at me as she washes her hands under the warm water.

"Nah, he's just my friend." I respond with a shrug of my shoulders. I've never had an attraction to Gale, never had, never will.

"Uhuh." She nods her head, raising her eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Come on, just friends." I sigh, looking her dead in the eye.

"Does he know that?" she challenges, drying her hands on a stiff piece of paper towel.

A million thoughts run through my mind. Does he know that? Yes, he has to.

"Of course he does." I smile at her convincingly.

She nods her head in agreement but her eyes tell a different story. Never the less, she drops the subject, asking me if I want hot cocoa or anything from the concession stand.

I shake my head no, returning to my usual silent ways. We make our way back to the bleachers, climbing to the top quickly to rejoin our friends just as the game resumes play.

I barely talk the rest of the game, only joining in when the chants deem it necessary. My brain is being taken over by my need for a full night of sleep. I would give anything to be in a bed right now.

When the final whistle finally blows, I nearly shout for joy, but I join in the crowd cheering for the win. The game was an easy one, the score at a meager seven to twenty four.

"Hey, let's wait for the boys and then go to Alexander's." Delly suggests, Annie quickly informs me that it's an ice-cream parlor just down the road.

"Thresh and I are in!" Rue chirps excitedly "Katniss, An and I can wait for the boys while you guys go get our table." She smiles.

"Sounds good, we'll meet you there!" Delly turns on her heel with Thom not so far behind her. Nock waves goodbye, quickly catching up to them with Madge on his heels. Johanna just shouts at them to wait for her, which they do probably out of fear.

"We can wait down by the exit." Annie points to a door a little farther on the sidewalk.

I watch people file out of the stadium; teens pile into cars and speed away while parents walk slower, dragging sleepy kids behind them. At this point I feel like one of the sleepy kids being dragged by a parent.

After waiting for what seems like eternity, players start filing out in jeans and sweats, some looking as worn out as I am, and others still hyped up by the win, bound out with energetic leaps.

"Katniss, I have to use the bathroom, will you wait for the boys?" Annie asks, and I agree, she drags Rue back into the stadium in search of the bathroom while I scan the boys for familiar faces.

I barely notice the bulky figure beside me until he speaks, starting me into oblivion.

"Well hello there gorgeous." The voice sends a shiver down my spine and my nose crinkles up in distaste.

"What do you want?" I respond a little too harshly as I look up at the blonde boy from my math class.

"Your number." He gives me a crooked grin that would have normal girls swooning, it only annoys me more.

I lean in, and he looks hopeful "You're not going to get it." I whisper with a smile. His smirk falters and falls, this must be his first failed attempt at getting a girl's number. I wouldn't be surprised though; normal girls would have wet their pants if a guy like this asked them for their number. Apparently I'm not like normal girls.

"I can be very convincing." He recovers quickly, still giving me the idiotic half smirk.

"Yeah, and I can be very stubborn." Spotting Gale and the other guys, I turn on my heel, leaving the blonde wondering what the hell just happened.

God I hate assholes.

Gale sees me and smiles big, slapping me a quick high five when I congratulate them on the win.

"Delly says she wants to meet us at the ice cream place, but Annie and Rue are taking forever in the bathroom." I inform them, being sure to stress the word forever.

"Annie's probably worried about her hair." Finnick laughs, slapping Thresh's back with a grin.

"Girls and their hair." Thresh laughs, shaking his head.

"That's why I hang out with Katniss." Gale joins the conversation "Braid every day, at this point it takes her like two seconds to get ready." He laughs along with the boys.

At this point, I'm smiling too, watching them all laugh together. I'm happy that I've made these few friends; maybe my life is going up, as long as blondie doesn't screw it up. I push the thoughts of the giant blonde boy into the back of my head, ignoring the fact that he was stunningly handsome. No more boys, no more crushes, no more love.

I repeat this to myself as I follow the boys into the parking lot when Annie and Rue rejoin us.

No more, it just leaves things broken.

. . .

_She never knew that a simple crush could take her so far. How many times had she fought away her feelings, why couldn't she shake this one? It haunted her thoughts, maybe this one was different. Maybe it was time to let someone in._

**CHAPTER NOTES**

This chapter is definitely longer, and I hope it makes up for the long period of inactivity on my part. It's late, and I apologize for any typos. I'll probably end up going back to change them tomorrow.

Only one person got the people at the beginning of the chapter right and I will tell you who it was, as soon as I reread the reviews and figure it out myself!

The people were as follows

The girl so lost in darkness- Delly

Her light- Thom

Dancer- Rue

Her biggest fan- Thresh

Football star- Finn

Invisible girl- Annie


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Notes—PLEASE READ**

**Hello all, if you read this chapter, you will understand how my life has been going to past few days. What has happened to Del in this chapter has just happened to me. So yes, you could say that things have been a bit rough.**

**Also, I just want to let you guys know that when I don't update, there are reasons. I just want to thank you all for being so understanding. Sometimes I see stories with readers begging for updates and getting rude and snappy and I just want to thank you all for not doing that to me! It means a lot that you understand that I have a life!**

**. . .**

_She had virtually forgotten about him, and could anyone blame her? No, he was an idiot, an idiot only obsessed with himself. Of course, she had other crushes, other flings to fill the void inside of her that opened when Peeta died. She was filling with life again, but little did she know, it would all come crashing down again, very soon._

"Uh oh, trouble on paradise." Rue whispers to me, nodding her head to the door where Delly and Thom stand in a heated argument.

Looking away from them slowly, I shovel another spoonful of my chocolate ice cream into my mouth.

"I'm gonna go do damage control." Johanna sighs from across the table, sliding over Finnick and Annie before running over to the front of the ice cream parlor where Delly and Thom's fight has escalated to muffled yells.

"Do they do this a lot?" I finally break the silence. Gale moves closer to me on the booth, wrapping his arm around my waist protectively. I don't bother shrugging away from his protective grasp; it would only cause a rumble of discomfort in the table around me. I don't fail to see the glare Madge gives me from next to Nick, or the way that he rolls is shoulders back with an unpleasant look on his pale face.

"Nah, they're the perfect couple, I mean Delly nags, and they fake fight all the time, but it's never serious like this. Honestly this is weird." Finnick responds through a bite of ice cream, smiling over at Annie who wipes a smudge of ice cream off his chin with her napkin. It almost makes me sick.

Gale's arm around my waist tightens as he feels my muscles tense up under his reassuring grip.

"What do you think it's about?" Glimmer looks at us before going back to playing with her kitty cat phone case with a distant look on her make up filled face.

"I don't know, Delly just looked down and froze, Thom kinda did the same thing and then next thing I know they're over by the door ready to rip each other's faces off." Nick reaches his spoon over, stealing a bite of my ice cream quickly before I can protest.

"Hey!" I sigh, pulling my cup closer to me.

When we first got to the ice cream parlor everyone was happy, Nick was talking to me about the best kind of ice cream, Rue was hanging on to every word Thresh said about the game, and Johanna was laughing animatedly with the rest of the group. It almost seemed too perfect.

By the time we sat down with our cups of ice cream, the perfection had crumbled quickly. I watched Delly mostly, she was smiling next to Thom, they were arguing over something, but I could care less. Then he rolled up his sleeve as she looked down and she froze. We were the only ones at the table; everyone else was getting their ice cream at the counter.

Delly almost lost it at the table; tears were glistening in her eyes before Thom could even get a word out. I know what she saw. It was the same look Tyler gave Addi when he found her cuts again: pure grief and sadness.

I know what Delly saw, I'd seen it a million times on Addi when her sweatshirts slipped a little too far up or when her sides and thighs were purple with the marks of her own fists. As I watch everyone try to decide what the two are fighting over, I keep my mouth shut. If Delly just found out, there is no way in hell Thom wants anyone else to know.

As I finish the last few bites of my ice cream, I yawn, leaning my head down onto Gale's comfortable shoulder. He shifts down lower in the seat, allowing me complete access to his shoulder and chest. I sigh down low into him, only closing my eyes for a few seconds at a time.

Everyone else at the small table is too preoccupied with the fight to notice my shift in position. Everyone except Madge. She just sits and stares at me with a look that could kill. I honestly don't care; I just stare back, challenging her through narrowed eyes. Just as I expected she backs off, excusing herself to the bathroom.

"Really Kat?" Gale chuckles, looking down at me with raised eyebrows.

"What?" I shrug my shoulders, wiggling out of his grasp.

"You could be a little nicer, it's not like you need to claim me or anything." He smirks down at me, shaking his head slightly at my crazed antics.

I only roll my eyes, passing the rest of my uneaten ice cream to Nick who pulls it close to him, consuming it at a ravenous pace. Chuckling slightly I turn back to Gale, smiling up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Are you tired? Because we can leave." He asks quickly, looking around the table to the rest of the group that sits in quiet conversations. It seems that with Delly gone, the life of the group has gone too. Her loud voice no longer demands attention from those around her.

I look back to where they still stand arguing by the door. Delly still looks shocked, and her arms are crossed over her stomach as if, at any second, she is going to lose the contents of her stomach. Johanna's eyes are narrowed and she glares at Thom, whispering something hurriedly at him.

Thom's expression is unreadable; he stands with one arm on the metal door handle, slightly turned to talk to the shocked pair with a blank stare. Delly says something else and looks at him with pleading eyes but he ignores her, looking back out into the parking lot. Without a word more, he pushes open the door, exiting briskly to the dismay of Delly and Johanna.

As I watch the scene unfold I can't help but feel a pang of sadness for Delly. One look at the two of them and you can tell how close they are. The way he looks at her makes the world seem to stop spinning. It's like everything around him disappears and he only has eyes for her. It's the way Peeta looked at me.

We only fought a few times, but when we did they were always awful. He was one of the few people who could make me cry. He didn't like that, but it was how much he meant to me. The worst fight was the four year anniversary of my father's death.

I didn't know what I was doing, I was fifteen, invincible. The pain was just so rough and I couldn't help it.

I broke into the liquor cabinet, drank until I couldn't feel my body anymore. It's a wonder I didn't die of alcohol poisoning. It was so stupid. I didn't think of the consequences, I just knew that there were two people that I didn't want to find me. Prim and Peeta; they couldn't find me.

I thought I did a damn good job of hiding, but apparently I didn't. Within two hours of being completely hammered, the door to my closet opening and lo and behold, Peeta stood in my doorway, looking at me with anger that could counter a bear without her cubs. I guess I'm a very vocal drunk.

I can still remember how mad he was, how he yelled at me for being so irresponsible. He left that night in a storm of fury. Peeta wasn't supposed to act like that. He was supposed to be forgiving and understanding, but I guess I pushed the limit. I cried until I couldn't cry another tear. The hangover hurt like hell, and I threw up almost all morning. But when I woke up and ran to the bathroom for the first wave of sickness he was there. He knew how bad my hangover would be and, despite his anger, came to take care of me.

I never drank again after that. I still haven't.

I turn back to Delly, watching the tears flow from her eyes. I guess the party's over, right? Everyone else has the same idea because Annie and Finn stand first, pushing away from the table. In a few seconds all the girls have crowded around Delly, giving her hugs and soft smiles. I stay back with Madge, and despite her glare I try to be nice, and I smile over at her.

"I'm Katniss by the way; I don't think I've properly introduced myself." My voice is sickeningly sweet, and it almost nauseates me with its syrupy fakeness.

"Im Madge." She whispers back shyly, taking my hand in a weak handshake.

She isn't as bad as I imagined her to be. By the way she glares at me, I almost expected her to be one of those fake overly sweet chicks that everyone likes. Part of me wants to like her, just because she seems to stray from the group. But then my protective part tells me to keep her at a distance, after all, Gale is my best friend, not hers.

Nick looks out the window, probably looking for Thom, but he's long gone.

"I'm going to go after him." He finally announces to the group, pushing his way to the door. As he leaves, following Thom's lead, I realize I still have his sweatshirt on.

"Wait Nick." I call out after him, chasing him out the door.

He stops in his tracks, turning to face me in the blinking light of the ice cream parlor and the pale full moon.

"Yeah?" he turns to smile at me, and I bask in the glow of his smile. It isn't often that someone smiles so genuinely at me. It's nice for a change. It reminds me of Peeta.

"I still have you sweatshirt." I remind him, moving to take it off when I'm startled with his firm "no".

"Keep it, wouldn't want you to get cold or anything." He smiles, running to his car in the far lot of the parking space.

As he pulls away and the light of the yellow white headlights flashes over me, I can't help but smile. Who is this person inside of me? She sure as hell isn't the Katniss that left McPherson a few short weeks ago. I'm learning to live again, with or without Peeta.

I watch Nick go, wondering if maybe he _is _my next step, maybe he will be the one that helps me to forget why I stopped loving in the first place. The little voice in the back of my head tells me that he won't be, but I ignore it, along with the pictures of the blond asshole from earlier. I can't afford to hide again.

"Kat, there you are." The bell above the door dings as Gale steps out onto the sidewalk next to me, the cool wind ripping holes through the both of us.

"Yeah, I was just-"he cuts me off, noticing the blush that I try to hide.

"Its fine Catnip, I understand. You have a crush." He sing-songs at me, smirking his signature smirk plastered across his face.

"Shut up asshole." I shove him back in the direction of the door. As we walk back in, I begin to wonder, would it be such a bad thing if I did have a crush?

_It was a crush, maybe a little one, maybe a big one. No one really knew what to expect from her. It was new, but it was bound to be interesting. But when things started to crumble around her, her crush was nowhere to be found. But someone else was; someone that would someday turn into something bigger than a crush._

**Chapter Notes**

**I promise you that Cato action will be in the next chapter. We will get to catch a glimpse of Katniss at a party, which should be really interesting to write! I'm excited to get the Kato heated up, I really don't like Nick.**

**So, if you are still reading this, tell me what you think of Nick! I would really like to hear what you have to say. I'm sure he's going to get plenty of hate.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Notes**

**Hey guys, I updated quickly!**

**Thank you so much to those of you who have taken the time to talk to me. I love you all very dearly and will always be here for each and every one of you. I am so blessed to have all of you.**

**CATO ACTION IN THE HOUSE!**

**Be prepared.**

_So it began, she saw something greater than anyone else had ever seen in that boy. She saw past the arrogance, and the show he put on for everyone else. She saw him for who he really was._

"Ok, we have Paranormal Activity, or House at the End of the Street." Delly sighs, tossing the movies onto the ground next to her.

I lean my head back on the couch, groaning in annoyance. This day could have possibly been the longest day the world has ever seen. Delly called the girls for a "much needed" girl day. It was awful, listening to them rant about guys, and shopping throughout the day is less than pleasing to me.

"Katniss, what do you think?" Annie asks quietly, giving me a soft smile.

I'm not exactly sure why I was invited today, it's not like I'm a part of the group, and I'm not sure I want to be. Maybe it's the fact that I'm terrified to get close to people. Maybe it's the fact that every time I let people in they leave me.

"Uh, I don't care." I stammer out, looking at the two movies. Peeta and I watched Paranormal Activity together when it first came out.

_Not now Katniss. _My mind shouts at me, and I push the wicked thoughts away. I have to get better. No more flashbacks, no more memories, only what's here, what's now. That's what matters.

We sit staring at each other for a few minutes, no one deciding which movies to watch. It's a little past seven, and I'm already exhausted.

Someone's phone buzzes and Rue jumps, pulling her phone out of her back pocket quickly. The smile on her face tells me Thresh has finally made contact. She's been antsy all day, checking the damn phone obsessively until Delly took it from her claiming she needed to "come back down to earth".

"Guys, Thresh says that Andy is having a party tonight, the guys want to know if we want to go." She smiles, reading part of the text over to us.

My mind immediately buzzes with memories. Peeta and I used to go to the parties at Mac. I used to be one of the happy go lucky girls that drank until she couldn't feel anymore, and giggled like a madwoman. I stopped when I met Peeta. Things weren't so hard anymore with him. I went to parties and didn't care what people thought when I said no.

"Party!" Glimmer whispers, flipping her dyed blond hair over her shoulder with a faraway smile.

I look to the rest of the group, everyone but Delly seems onboard with the idea of a party. She sits quietly, looking at everyone with a fake smile. I know what the party means; Thom will be there, from what I know they haven't spoken since the previous night.

She notices me stare and her fake smile widens, but I can't help but notice that it doesn't reach her eyes like it normally does. She looks sad, like a lost puppy. Her source of happiness was just botched by something darker than she could ever imagine.

"Maybe Nick will be there." She jokes, this time the smile reaches her eyes and leaves behind a mischievous glint.

"Oh shut up." I laugh, looking down at my feet as the faint pink traces of a blush rises to my cheeks.

"Wait, what about Gale?" Madge asks curiously, looking at me with a hopeful smile.

"He's like a brother, there's nothing between us." I laugh, rolling my eyes at her antics. I can see her and Gale together. Gale and I are fire on fire, but Madge could be the water he needs to be tamed.

"Does he know that?" Johanna asks loudly through a mouthful of chips that she's been sneakily hogging since we reached Delly's house.

"Of course." I respond softly, looking out at the rest of the group. Annie looks skeptical, and Rue shakes her head discretely. Johanna simply raises her eyebrows and goes back to eating chips.

I snuggle deeper into the large green sweatshirt that hangs around me loosely. I haven't taken Nick's jacket off since he gave it to me last night. For some reason it comforts me. The nightmares weren't as bad as they usually are last night, instead of the crash I dreamed of the hospital. It was a welcome change, but I still woke up in a cold sweat, crying my eyes out into my pillow.

Part of me wonders if I do have a crush on Nick, and the more rational part of me tells me that I'll never love anyone like I loved Peeta. He was everything, everything to me. Then there's this tiny part of me that can't keep the number twelve and the giant blonde idiot out of my mind.

"Katniss?" Rue breaks me out of my thoughts, giving me another warm smile "are you coming?" I look around the basement; it's empty, only Rue and I are left.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking." I smile at her, moving to stand up when she sits down next to me suddenly.

"I read about him." She blurts out; putting her head in her hands "I read about what happened." My heart drops to my feet, and my hands tremble slightly. It's been a year since I had to explain him to anyone.

"Who?" I ask, trying to divert the question. It fails miserably, and she throws her tiny arms around my shoulders. It takes me by surprise and I sit stiffly for a second before putting my arms around her as well.

"You're Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark's girlfriend." She trails off, looking at me expectantly.

I take a deep breath, nodding slowly at her, unaware of where she has heard about me.

"The big news shows here, they did a story about him. You know, he was the perfect boy, football scholarship offer to play somewhere. I uh, read a newspaper article about it too. I don't believe that he was texting. Not when he had a passenger in the car." He voice is almost silent now, and she looks at me with searching eyes.

The news never released the fact that there was a passenger in the seat. It was always about Peeta, no one came near me, whether they were respecting our rights or didn't know, I could care less. Peeta had a scholarship to TCU to play football, I had been so proud. Our football team of the time was a dream team, state titles stacked up, championship games, he was a natural star.

"I, how did you, where?" I stutter, looking into her chocolate eyes.

"They said there was a passenger, it had to be you." She whispers, looking down again "I just put the pieces together, I had no idea. I'm so sorry Katniss."

I look straight ahead for a second, remembering that horrid night. I shudder as the crashes play through my head over and over.

"It's fine." I pause to look at her "You just don't realize everything that you have until it's gone. Peeta was a good boyfriend, and I took him for granted, and now he's never coming back." My eyes are filled with the tears that never seem to leave me be.

"I know this probably doesn't mean much, but I'm really sorry." Rue whispers, hugging her locked arms tighter around me.

"It does, it really means a lot." I lie, faking a smile in her direction. Sorry's don't help anymore, no one understands but me. I'm lost and alone. No, one person trying to understand doesn't change a thing. It doesn't bring him back.

"I uh, we should." She points towards the door, letting go of me to stand.

"Yeah, they're probably wondering where we are." I smile through gritted teeth once again.

_Get over yourself. _My thoughts hiss at me, reminding me that all Rue wants to do is help.

. . .

"Hey, you made it!" Nick saunters over to me as the group of girls around me slowly dissipates leaving me to stare at one stumbling Nick.

"You're really drunk." I giggle as he tries to put his drink on the table next to him. He misses a few times before I step in and place the drink upright on the side table.

"Just a little." He laughs, throwing his arms around my shoulder to keep himself upright.

"How is it that you happen to be the drunkest one here?" I groan looking out over the rest of the partygoers, scanning the crowd for Gale.

"I lost at beer pong." He admits, making a funny face when I roll my eyes at him.

I finally find our group after scanning everyone over twice. They stand next to the pool; Rue and Thresh are locked in a friendly embrace while Gale laughs at something Madge says. I can't help but let the smile sneak onto my face.

"Well they made up fasht." Nick slurs nodding in the direction of Delly and Thom.

Thom is trying to make Delly laugh with animated hand motions and crazy faces. She's laughing at him but it seems off, it's like she's holding on to every moment she has with him. She's letting every word he's saying sink into her mind and etch itself there forever. A storm is coming and she knows it.

"Hey, there's Britley, I'm just gonna go and say a few hello's" I laugh at Nick as he walks over to a girl in a dark leather jacket, stumbling over some rocks before looking around to see if anyone saw.

After he leaves I try to disappear into the crowd before finding a corner to stand in. It feels so wrong, being here and all. The music is too loud, there are too many people, and everyone is drunk. The place is practically a cop magnet. I find myself wishing that Prim would have allowed me to stay home. I can't help but chuckle at how absurd the idea of her forcing me to go sounds.

When I got the text from Delly this morning she practically leapt over the breakfast table, grabbing the phone from me and responding quickly before I could even react. When I told her I wasn't really up for going she threw me my purse and pushed me out the door, not before taking away my key to the house.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out just in time to catch the name…Prim.

**Hey, are you having fun? :) **

I sigh, looking at the crowd of drunken teens. I quickly type out 'not really' but then erase it. I wouldn't want her to be worried.

_**I'm having a lot of fun! Don't wait up little duck.**_

Happy with my response I go back to looking around at the crowd. I'm so engrossed with figuring out what the dyed blonde in a mini skirt is doing that I don't even notice the hulking shadow in the darkness behind me.

"You don't drink eh?" A deep voice startles me into oblivion, and I gasp, clutching a hand over my now racing heart.

"Uh no." I respond, watching as the blonde moves out of the shadows.

He towers over me, giving me a small smile. It isn't like the smile he gave me earlier in the school. This smile is not one of arrogance; it's a small light in the darkness for me. As much as I try, I cannot ignore the way my heart flutters in my chest.

"How long have you been there?" I finally ask after a few seconds of beyond awkward silence.

"Long enough to know you don't want to be here." He gives me a serious nod, a faint frown tugging at the corner of his chiseled features.

"Yeah well drinking isn't really my thing." I respond coolly, playing with the hem of Nick's green sweatshirt.

"It's not really mine either." He slides into a seated position on the ground next to me.

Accepting the fact that he won't be leaving anytime soon I settle in, curling myself into a little ball against the wall of the giant house.

"My name's Cato by the way." He sticks out his hand.

"Yeah, I know, you nearly killed me this morning." Taking his hand I give it a firm shake.

For one small second I don't see a giant monster. For a sliver of time as our hands touch I see the sunshine firmly planted in him, for a second I am reminded of Peeta.

_He was her new bit of sunshine, and she craved sunshine desperately._

**Chapter Notes**

**Not much to know about this chapter, I just want to thank you all again for taking the time to read this. Life has gotten hectic so yeah!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	10. Delly

**This chapter is simply to tell you all what has happened in the past few weeks with Thom and me. Some of you have asked how it is going and this is my response. Here you go. **

**Delly POV**

I dread Monday and what comes with it, we only have one day of school before a professional development week begins for the teachers. Monday is going to be all it takes though, the world is going to end on me.

I've tried so hard to help Thom, and he's pushed me away numerous times. He doesn't want me to worry about him; he says it's his job to worry about me. He's just being his usual protective self. Long story short, I'm losing the boy I fell in love with two years ago.

He took me home after the party, I tried so hard to pretend things were normal, but he could tell that I was sad and worried. He made me promise him I wouldn't worry about him any longer. I've broken the promise too many times now.

Sighing I run my hands through my wavy blonde hair, ruffling it gently until it falls perfectly into place around my face.

"Do you realize how just perfect you are?" the whisper coming from my doorway startles me, and I jump dropping the papers in my hand with a frantic yelp.

"Thom Edwards you better have a good reason for scaring me like that." I hiss disapprovingly, clutching at my wildly beating heart. The combination of his startling entrance and his previous words has done a number on my heart, making it beat more madly than before.

"What, can't I tell my girlfriend how amazing she is?" an adorable half smirk lights up his tanned face "and I wanted to apologize for being an asshole, I know I shouldn't have treated you the way I did, and I'm sorry. You want to help, I understand." His smile drops and a small apologetic frown replaces it. I stare into his cool grey eyes, letting my own anger drop from my mind like a hot sack of potatoes.

"I'm sorry too." I whisper, looking down at my shaggy carpet as I run my toes back and forth through the stringy ends.

He's next to me in seconds, gently tugging my chin up to face him until I am forced to stare into his eyes.

"Hey, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to apologize for." His voice is harder now as he stares me in the eyes, willing me to forget my guilt. It still sits in the bottom of my stomach, making it near impossible to forget it completely.

"We're going to be late to school." I giggle when he captures my lips with his own, indulging himself in a sweet gentle kiss before moving his lips up to my fore head to press another soft kiss against the smooth skin of my head along my hairline.

"I'll drive fast." He jokes, grabbing my bag in his hand and slinging it carelessly over his shoulder.

I give him a playful shove "You are not driving fast Thom! You have precious cargo in your car." laughing I follow him down my stairs and out the front door.

"I promise I won't drive that fast." He responds, allowing a smirk to play on his lips. We both know that promise is a lie; Thom is a careless driver, even with me in the car. Even though he swears Nick is worse, I will never believe him.

"Oh please." I laugh freely, swinging my hair over my shoulder with an exasperated sigh as he opens the passenger door for me. He's always been such a gentleman; I suppose I'll miss it soon.

My thoughts of losing him for good bring tears to my eyes. In a few short hours everything I have worked so hard for is going to come crumbling down.

"Dell, you ok?" Thom asks as he sits down in the driver seat, turning to look at me as he screeches out of my driveway, turning quickly down the road towards the school.

"Yeah, I'm great." I fake a smile; he sees past it but brushes it off. I know he wants to ask me, but he holds it back, probably because he knows he's the reason everything has been off lately.

Our ride is silent aside from the constant droning of commercials on the radio station that neither of us bother to change. Occasionally I can feel his stare, or a worried glance that lands on my small frame in the front seat of the car but I don't bother to look back. He hates it when I cry.

"Promise me you're ok." He finally whispers as we pull into the lot of the school. His voice is worried, and cracks slightly under the pressure that fighting with me has put him in.

"I promise, just let it go." I look him dead in the eyes, praying that he doesn't see the tears threatening to spill over. If he does see them, he ignores them.

I twist the promise ring on my finger, grabbing his hand as he leads me into the school.

When we reach the lockers I reach up and peck him on the lips quickly.

"I have to go do something for Johanna; I'll be back for jewelry okay?" I smile sweetly, staring up at him as the rest of our group forms around us, talking amongst themselves in chipper voices.

He smiles and gives me such a trusting and loving look it almost breaks my heart. I want to hug him, hold him and tell him that everything I'm about to do is for his own good. It's like part of my mind can't wrap itself around the fact that by tomorrow things will be completely different. He will never want to talk to me again.

Johanna catches my eye as I walk away from the group. She understands where I'm going, and what I'm going to do. She gives me a sad nod and a half smile before going back to talking with Katniss.

The walk to the art hallway seems to take forever, tears fall freely as I walk the familiar trek. I've walked it with Thom so many times hand in hand now, so many conversations, when he first found out about my uncle and what he did to me, we were in this hallway. I'll never forget the look on his face when I confirmed his suspicions.

I didn't mean to tell him about the abuse I suffered as a child. Nick always used me as a girl talk translator, and one day he asked me to translate something from his girlfriend. They were breaking up because of a rape that she was the unfortunate victim of. Thom seemed to notice the certainty I had in my voice as I told Nick that things were going to be hard, and that his girlfriend may never be the same again.

Thom asked me about it as soon as we were out of the classroom. I tried to avoid telling him, I didn't want him to treat me any differently, but he found out anyways. Apparently I'm a bad liar.

I wipe my tears as I reach the art offices, shaking of my memories as I lift my hand to knock on the heavy wooden door. Mr. Baker sees me through the window before I even get the chance to knock on the door.

As he opens the door, the tears fall faster, but I raise my chin, looking up at him with a fierce determination. I won't let Thom die.

"Mr. Baker, we need to talk." I whisper quietly "it's about Thom. I'm worried about him." I wipe furiously at the tears that trek in paths down my cheeks.

"Delly, why, what happened?" Mr. Baker's eyes are full of concern. He loves Thom and I like we're his own, he doesn't have kids, so we're the closest things to family for Baker.

"Thom, he's hurting himself and I'm afraid, so afraid. I just don't want to lose him." I finally break, after days of holding in every emotion I've felt, I let it all go. My makeup is ruined as I sob into my hands.

I'm angry, so angry at everything. I'm mad at Thom for hurting himself, I'm mad at the people who've made him feel this way, but more importantly I'm angry at myself for not noticing how much pain he is in. How could I not know?

I thought there were no secrets between us. I thought he could tell me anything. He was my rock through everything. The second I met him, I knew he was special, and after all the laughter and moments in time we shared together, I knew I was right.

My thoughts are scattered across my brain and I can barely process the words Mr. Baker is saying slowly in front of me, all I want to do is curl up in a ball. The gut wrenching feeling is gone, and in its place is pure pain. Now I realize everything I put Bonnie and my family through, everything my old best friend John had to go through for me.

"Delly, how about you go sit in the jewelry room, I don't have a class now and you can wait for next hour. I can tell your first hour teacher you're helping me. You know I have to tell the counselors about this?" Mr. Baker puts a hand on my shoulder and I nod slowly, trying to comfort me.

I walk to the jewelry room in a trance; putting one foot in front of another like I've never walked before. I stumble over my own feet once, laughing at my own idiocy in a dark chuckle.

I sit down at a table, laying my head on the thick wooden surface. My best friend is never going to speak to me again. He's going to hate me. I'll never see him the same again.

Shaking my head I sit up, looking around at the empty shop room.

"Delly, you're doing the right thing. Someday he'll be thankful for it." I look ahead confidently, trying to convince myself of this new revelation.

I lay my head back down. I didn't sleep last night; I was too worried about today. I close my eyes, slipping slowly into on oddly comforting darkness.

I sleep through the bell, waking to the hushed whispers of our jewelry table. Thom is standing over me, concern dancing in his eyes as he rubs my back gently.

"Babe, are you ok?" He asks quietly, giving me a small frown.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well I guess." I yawn, leaning into his arms behind me. He embraces me from behind, hugging me tightly to his chest as he presses a gentle kiss on my temple.

"Have you been crying?" Fo asks loudly, and I give her a look that could wipe out an army.

"Have you?" Thom grabs my chin, turning me around so he can see my red eyes.

"Yeah, I um miss Tanya." I respond. Everyone drops the topic at the mention of my dead cousin. She died of an eating disorder in July of '10.

Thom looks at me one more time, and then he opens his mouth, mimicking Bane from Batman. It always gets me to laugh, and I do.

I laugh harder than ever before, cherishing every last moment I have with him. What have I done?

. . .

I stare ahead as my dad drives us to the lake. Regionals have come much too fast this year, and Oklahoma City has never been so daunting. Our team has barely gotten out on the water. We definitely aren't prepared.

"Hey, we're going to do great." Johanna laughs from the backseat with her feet propped up on the back of my seat.

"Johanna, the novices have barely gotten on the water and this wind is like a hurricane, we're going to embarrass ourselves.

Rowing has been an escape for me, but today is going to be awful. Today is the day Thom is going to know I betrayed him, and I dread it more than anything.

I step out of the car as my dad pulls up next to our trailer of boats, smiling at me doubles partner Jayden.

"Hey girl!" I smile, walking over to our boat. We're the first race of the day, so we're going to head down to the dock now to get some practice in beforehand.

"Jo, can you grab my blue oars?" I ask over my shoulder to Jo. When she doesn't respond I look back over my shoulder at her, stopping dead in my tracks when I see what has stunned her.

She's holding my phone, staring at it with a blank and horrified expression. Thom.

"Give it to me." My voice breaks as I hold out my hand.

She places my phone in my outstretched hand with the same dead expression. The new message stares up at me with evil intentions.

**What the fuck have you done?**

It's over.

**So, for those of you who have asked what happened between Thom and I, here it is. I will post the next part of this chapter soon, I promise it does have a happy ending, but for now, it doesn't.**

**Oh, and if any of you happened to be in Oklahoma for Rowing Regionals last weekend, I may have met you or seen you! I'd really like to know if you were! It would be so cool!**

**Love to All,**

**DedicatedWallflower**


	11. Delly P2

**This is the last completely Delly chapter I will post on Fixed, I am only posting it there so that my non COAV readers can see the ending. This chapter will also be posted on COAV.**

**This is what continued to happen with Thom, yes everything is true yada yada, except for the fact that Thom and I are NOT dating, he's just my best friend in real life.**

**FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW, **_**DELLY IS BASED OFF ME.**_

I stare at the text for what seems like hours, reading it over and over. He hates me, he fucking hates me. He's never cussed at me like that, ever. Tears well up in my eyes, and for a brief moment in time I can feel everything Bonnie felt when she threatened to tell my parents my suicide plan.

"_I will never speak to you again Bonnie." I hiss into the phone, glaring at the grey walls of my bedroom._

_I can hear her sharp intake of breath on the other side of the phone, she's been crying for the past forty five minutes, but I can't bring myself to find any source of sympathy for her._

_I'm so mad I can't even see straight, I'm mad that John told her, and I'm mad that she would even have the audacity to threaten me. _

"_You tell your mom or I'll tell her for you." Bonnie sighs over the phone, breaking into another uncontrollable fit of sobs. I roll my eyes, spinning the full bottle of pills in my hand._

"_You wouldn't." I growl, suddenly feeling threatened. I know Bonnie isn't bluffing at this point, the second I hang up this phone, she's going to call my mom and then the whole police force will end up breaking down my locked door._

_My phone beeps, signaling I have a text. Slowly I lower my phone so I can see the screen. John won't stop texting me and I groan again in frustration._

"_I will call her Delly, I'll call her and tell her everything." Her voice is stronger this time, and I know my fight is futile, but I hold out._

"_What the hell kind of best friend are you, huh? I can't trust you. You tell my mom, and I promise I will never be your friend again. Consider me lost the second you call my mother." I hold strong on my fight, putting the pills down on the nightstand._

"_Fine then, someday you're going to thank me." The line goes dead and I panic. I start to open the bottle again, but I shut it as soon as I open it. What am I even thinking? What about all the people at church, what about my little brother, what about my friends._

_I collapse to the ground then, crying out against the pain the world has wrought on me. _

Tears form in my eyes as I remember that awful day over in my mind. I wasn't thinking right, but I hated everyone who threatened to tear down the walls I had built to protect my habits.

"Del, it's going to be ok." Johanna pats my back, trying to take my phone from me, but I hold on tight.

"I know, just let me send this text, ok?" I unlock my iPhone, smiling at the picture of Thom and me at one of the bonfires.

My fingers search frantically for the right words to say, but nothing seems to be ok.

_**I am so sorry. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but I did this for your own good. I can't let you leave me like Tanya, it can't happen. I know sorry doesn't help, but I am so sorry.**_

I send the text and look over to my boat where Jayden stands with an oblivious smile on her face. She's a sweetheart, but she hasn't seen the horrors of the world.

"Jo, I'm alright." I smile tightly, taking the promise ring off my finger and putting it in my wallet. I never take it off unless I'm rowing.

"Alright ladies, let's get a move on!" Our coach calls excitedly, looking at Jay and me over his clipboard.

I can't seem to focus and I about drop the boat on the way to the dock. Everyone can tell something is wrong. I'm not my usual chipper self, something is definitely wrong with me.

"Way enough." I call out as I stop to check us in with the dock official, tears still streaming down my face.

"You guys can go all the way to the end of the dock and launch from there." She tells me coldly, looking for the next boat to check in.

"Walk it forward." I call to Jayden, beginning to walk forward until we are clear of the ramp rails "swing it to the left." My voice cracks halfway through the sentence. This row is going to be a disaster. "Toes to the edge." I command through a mouthful of tears. "Up and overhead in two, one, two." We lift the boat up over our heads "Down to water in two, one, two." The boat is slowly lowered to the water and I lean over, putting my oars neatly into the riggers.

"One foot in." I call to Jayden as soon as we have the oars in place. I ignore the woman yelling at us to get off the dock quickly. "Down on three, one, two, three." We sit and the boat shakes in the wind. We already feel unsteady. Great.

I take the first couple of strokes from the bow, turning to steer. It becomes hard under the pressure of the wind stinging my already tear-filled eyes.

"Delly, are you sure you want to do this?" Jayden asks quietly from the front of the boat.

"Yeah, of course I do." I fake a happy tone, grunting when the wind begins to push us and the boats in front of us around. Our lake has been windy, but never this windy.

One second I can see the blurry outlines of lane one as I overcorrect, and the next second, I find the bow running straight into rocks.

"Fuck." Is the only thing that comes to mind, but the word hurts even more. Thom was so excited when I said it for the first time, he didn't like that fact that I was so good, and begged me to say it day in and day out, but I refused. I'm not exactly sure what he was so excited about in the first place.

The tears fall even harder and I groan in frustration as the officials zoom by our crashed boat to rescue three other boats ahead of us on the race course.

Jayden is panicking in front of me, and I know she's on the verge of tears too. Weve only tipped once before this, and at this point, tipping is inevitable.

"Jay, we have to get in before the boat gets a hole from the rock." I suck in a deep breath, preparing myself to be the strong one.

I let go of the rock I've been using to keep us upright and slowly fall into the water. Its unbearable cold and I shiver as I fall in. Jayden starts to shake and I pray she doesn't have another panic attack in the water like the first time we tipped. Slowly I push us out of the rocks, standing in the waist deep water as wind rips around us.

Is this what I get for telling, is this karma paying me back for being such a bitch? I want to scream or punch something like I once did before my boxing trainer ran away.

"Jayden, you get back in the boat, I'll hold us out of the rocks." She gets back in slowly, and I hold the skinny boat steady for her.

Part of me is using the cold water as a punishment for myself, the other part just knows that I really am a bitch, and I would hate myself for telling too. He trusted me and I went off and told on him.

God what have I done?

. . .

Three hours later I sit in the hotel room with Jo, scarfing down on a sandwich like I've never seen food before. Shortly after our doubles race was cancelled and four boats had to be pulled out of the rocks, they delayed all races until a later time, meaning that our team doesn't have to be back until five or so, leaving me with nothing to do but talk to Thom.

He answers on the fourth ring when I call, and his hello sounds strained and angry. If I had any more tears to cry, I would let them out now, but I've run out.

"Thom?" I ask breathlessly.

"What the fuck do you want?" he spits into the phone, and I cringe back slightly. Jo sits up a bit straighter, anger flaring up in her dark eyes. As if any second she's going to pounce on me and tell Thom off.

"I want to let you know that I'm sorry. I know you'll never trust me again and I just I'm so sorry. I promise you it will get better." I respond, trying to ignore his hatred.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have done that Delly. You're right, I can't trust you. I trusted you, and you went off and told my favorite teacher. My parents will never look at me the same again." His voice just sounds heartbroken now, and my heart drops to the floor with the weight of the guilt.

"You're going to thank me one day." I respond quietly, playing with a string on the pristine white hotel pillow.

"I don't think that day will ever come. You've done enough damage Del, I think you should go now." He sighs into the phone.

"Ok, I don't regret what I did." I say in a hushed yet confident whisper.

"You should. Bye Delly." The line goes dead.

You knew this would happen when you told, it's not forever. Plus, would you rather have him alive or dead? My thoughts swirl endlessly in my mind. Jo just stares at me, but she knows nothing will ever be the same again.

. . .

Four days of hell have past, Oklahoma City Regionals have come and gone, and with them, Thom has gone too.

We had a hang out night again, Katniss brought Nick, but I saw who she was texting, and it sure as hell wasn't Nick. Nick refuses to speak to me, claiming I've ruined his "babe" aka Thom.

John says I did the right thing, in a moment of panic I texted him for the first time in two years. He's the only person that knows me more than Thom does, but we drifted away when I didn't need his constant support.

In fact, most of the girls are on my side, our inner circle found out about Thom because Nick can't keep his big mouth shut. I almost feel bad for Thom, but I choke it down.

Johanna and Katniss have been spending more time with me, trying to keep my mind off things, but it doesn't work. How could it when you have a crazed guy sending death wishes to you every second. I'm almost glad that it's still Sunday and the weekend hasn't ended, but I dread seeing Thom at school, having him in my class, seeing him at lunch.

Part of me wonders if he will revert back to Misha, the awful bitch that broke his heart and continued to play with him after she did so. I hate that part of me for thinking of her.

I sit back from the computer and typing my columnist paper as my doorbell rings.

I can hear my mother's soft tread on the hardwood under my room as she approaches the door. I hear her gasp, welcoming the person inside with a really fake voice. Curiosity gets the best of me and I stumble out of my room, creeping to the banister to peak over and see the unwelcome guest.

My heart falls to the floor and my eyes fill with tears when I see who stands at the bottom of the stairs with a bouquet of flowers.

"I'm so sorry." His voice sounds thick, like he's about to cry. "I understand now." He finishes, looking at the ground.

Thom. Is all my mind can process.

**There you have it… You want to know the rest? Go read COAV!**

**Love to All**

**Dedicated**


	12. Chapter 12

Hello Everyone,

Dedicated speaking, I have not updated in ages, and yes, before you lay into me, I have real reasons.

I have been in the hospital stuck in a morphine induced high that included talking dragons named Buttons and Danger, and you guessed it, Nick Jonas making a surprise appearance as my husband along with Jake from state farm. So unless you wanted chapters full of crazy talk, you should be happy I haven't updated.

Secondly, my little brother is very ill. I am flying out to Philly for many more hospital appointments and tests with my family. I don't know how many of you are religious, but if you are, I would appreciate some prayers or thoughts. My little brother is my life, and seeing him sick has been one of the hardest things in the world.

I am working on writing new chapters, but as of now, until JULY all of my stories are on hold until I can get life organized. I'm sure you all will be _**VERY**_ understanding.

Love to All,

DedicatedWallflower


	13. thank you

Hello everyone, this is dedicated once again. Actually this is really from my little brother who wants to thank each of you for your support. He was so excited when he saw that people from all across the USA and even the world were praying for him.

As his big sister this really means so much to me. You all have made him happy, and thats more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Love to all,

Dedicated


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